One Vaccine Down!

Why was I feeling so on edge while waiting for the vaccination?

To think back - it is so silly goodness. 

I am not particularly afraid of needles and injections, and hopefully, it wasn't about the crowd too, because I love being with people. 

It could be because it felt like finally there is a glimpse of hope - that all this will one day go away and now all we need to do is take that one step at a time, and get vaccinated, and stay home and stay safe. 

I cannot wait, till the day we can safely be with our families and friends, and no need to be so afraid. 

Till then, stay safe. 

Why am I So Nervous About the Vaccine?

My vaccination appointment is tomorrow - and I am feeling so nervous - like going for an interview nervous. No idea why I felt that I need to do some kind of preparation before taking the shot. Hah. 

Adrian thought it was funny for me to be this nervous. 

I asked him to bring me there because I scared. 

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

Not super excited about the common side-effects though. I hate having a fever because I usually cannot do anything or get out of bed. Prayerfully, the side effects will be a total zero for me!

Be confident, Sarah. 

Really as though going for interviews. Apani. 

Excited For My What's Next!

Based on what was written in my previous post, you should have figured that I have indeed decided to apply for a job and will be saying goodbye to being a full-time stay-at-home mom (soon) to my two precious kids. It was not an easy decision, but an inevitable one - as according to my husband. 

It is not only physically demanding but also mentally challenging - to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. There is a constant need to make sure I don't get sucked into the everyday-lazing-around-with the kids, which is so tempting, even after completing the house chores and whatnots. 

On good days, I kept my day filled with re-organizing cupboards after cupboards and adding home decor items on my Shopee account. My bank account is going to hit zero soon if I continue to 'home-decor' every day. Heh. 

On bad days, I just laze around with Alex and Sofia on the couch and snack, non-stop. Oh, the life right? By the second half of the noon, I would get agitated easily and I know why - because I have been not productive at all - in a way. 

On most days, I am not able to do anything I actually want when the kids are awake, because all they want to do is for you to sit with them to watch Cocomelon together. Sofia only wants to sit quietly (without food) when you sit with her. So, yes. A very clingy day-to-day JD. 

So, to all full-time stay-at-home moms, I salute you. It is difficult and it gets impossible sometimes, and we wonder how we manage to survive through it all - the everyday-repetitive-demanding-life. But hey, we did give birth to a human - out of our body. So, we are already champions - whether our partners recognize it or not - or I mean whether they show their appreciation in the ways we want to or not. Hah. 

If you are a full-time stay-at-home mom, you guys are rocking it and making such a big difference in your children's life. If you are a working mom, get rid of that guilt and know that you are also rocking it. It is a good decision and what you do is what is best for your family. So, say bye-bye to that mom-guilt. 

I was so happy when HR called me and finally saying "Congratulations Sarah! We'd love to have you join the team!". I was smiling from ear to ear. It was a Friday and it sets the weekend right. I remembered calling Adrian straight away and was just jumping up and down!

I have the whole month of July to spend time with the kids before starting work officially in August. 

I do have to admit that there is a pinch of sadness and reluctance when I think about starting work in August - just based on the fact that I no longer will be around Alex & Sofia 24/7. I have gotten used to seeing their face every minute, so I don't really know how I am going to cope with that change - but I will do okay I feel - because Vanessa is going to send me their videos and updates every hour. Heh.

And now, I got more budget for home-decor things - starting August. Hah. 

So, here's to spending July smartly (is there such word? Hah) and wisely with my kids and family. I am super excited and nervous for August to come. More excited I reckon. I even bought a new notebook, a new handbag (hah) and stick-ons for all my learnings starting in August. I still need to buy my stationaries. 

Gotta need new stationaries for new beginnings, right? Heh. 

Till next update, bye now. Stay safe everyone. 

I Updated My Resume, Now What?

Our kids sleep at 8PM because there is nothing much to do at home and we (Adrian and I) need to squeeze in time for each other, right after they sleep. 

Oftentimes, we find ourselves not being able to because he has to continue working, and I usually fall asleep with the kids. So, we hardly talk sometimes. So sad I know. 

But we now have a new thing where we started spending time with each other on the bed when both kids are drinking their milk and slowly going into dreamworld. We would be lying down with them in the darkroom, and start talking and sharing our day and stuff. 

Last night was one of the nights where our conversation was somehow steered to a serious-life-changing-kind where we discussed things like future plans and whatnots. 

The kind of conversation where it makes you think hard and talk hard with each other. 

The realization is that as much as I enjoyed staying home spending 24/7 with my children, I cannot deny that I miss a part of me that only exists when I am at work (whether in the office or working remotely). 

It felt like I was losing something in me - be it some sort of passion or drive or motivation (if you know what I mean) and after sharing that with Adrian, he completely agrees. Something changed in me. Something seems a bit off. Hah. 

So, we re-visit the idea of me going back to work and we continued to wonder if that is the right thing to do, because I really love spending time with Alex and Sofia. I definitely would want to find something that allows me to work from home (flexible to go into the office anytime). 

I do like to work in the office, but I need the flexibility to work elsewhere. 

It was such a great conversation with Adrian that night. I felt relieved and we had gin & tonic after that. Hah. 

The next morning, I updated my resume. 

Till next time. 

How To Make Your Own Jam With Only 3 Ingredients!

 If you were to tell me years ago, that I would be making my own jam in the future, I would have said to you, "You mad bro!"

I have never seen myself so domesticated before it is insane. This is what a full lockdown can do to you, and when people give you loads of berries and your children and husband are not big fans of those berries. 

It started because I didn't want the berries to turn bad - so I decided to make a jam out of it - that way, we can keep it for long. Coincidentally, our store-bought jam also finished liau - so perfect time or what. 

I started googling for easy recipes and many of them have pectin in them, but since I did not know then what pectin is, I googled, "Homemade berries jam without pectin" and the recipe came out and it worked! 

FYI - these berries also have got pectin in them naturally so when you cook them longer, they will get thicker over time and becomes jam after keeping in the fridge. 

So, all you need are your berries (can be just strawberry or mix berries), sugar, and lemon juice. SO EASY RIGHT. Ohh, and with lots of love heh. 

Because it is that easy! 

The first thing to do is you would want to dice your berries. Then, put them in a pot and your fire should be medium - not too big later your berries chau-weh-ta (burnt). 

After you realize that more liquid is coming out of the berries, taste to see if the combination of all the berries turns out to be sweet or sour. If sour, add in some sugar and stir. 

Then, add in a bit of lemon juice. Yes, even if the berries are sour, you still need to add a bit of lemon juice, because the lemon juice will lower the pH of the mixture. 

Then, taste again to make sure it becomes the kind of jam that you would like - not too sweet and not too sour. I always add sugar slowly to make sure it doesn't get too sweet. 

Oh, also remember to mash the berries to the consistency that you would like. If you like your jam to be chunkier, then mash less. 

Let the jam cools down, and transfer to glass bottles to keep. I'm not sure if you can keep in plastic bottles, because why not right? But I just follow what people usually do - so I also keep mine in glass bottles heh. 

The first batch that I did, I kept it in the fridge and almost finished. So I guess time to get more berries to make more jam. 

You can try to make your own jam because the store-bought ones - don't know what other preservatives they put inside. So, I guess you can say that this is a much healthier option for you and your family. 

And it is so satisfying to make it seriously. 

Here's a quick video :)

Till next time, bye now. 

Alex is Three!

"Enjoy every moment because they will grow up so fast and you will miss it"

Someone said this to me when Alex was just born, and at that time, I find it hard to believe and accept that time will pass me by because it was so difficult being a mother for the first time to a colic baby. It was so challenging in every way. 

But now, I say it to new moms. Hah. 

Because they are so true. 

It feels like he turned three after I blinked my eyes ten times - so surreal because I still remember so clearly when he was born, and the struggles of breastfeeding him and him crying all night because of colic. 

Last year, we wanted to bring him to the zoo on his birthday but we were in our first lockdown, so we celebrated at home. This year, we obviously still want to bring him to a zoo, but we are also still in lockdown so we stayed home (where else can we go right?). 

Initially, the plan was to get him a really nice cake, order some of his favorite food and 'try' to allow him to do or eat anything he wants. 

The plan then changed to scheduling a Zoom call with family and friends, ordered a custom made cake that is affordable, some of his favorite foods ordered and paid for by our sisters (Adrian and mine), and I did allow him to almost everything he wanted to do and he ate whatever he wanted. 

I ordered the cake from Jasmine Cake House. I had no idea what kind of cake he wants so I went to Jasmine Cake House's FB and saved cake photos of which I think may interest Alex. Then, I showed him like 10 photos and he came back with this photo. I tried changing and convincing him to other cakes but he kept coming back to this one, so this one wins. 

We paid RM100 for the cake (including delivery to the house) so in my opinion, that is a pretty good price for a custom-made cake. The monster truck and remote control are not edible. 

We set the call to 6PM and we were struggling with the set-up because at first, we used Adrian's Huawei's laptop and realized that the webcam's angle is totally out and people won't be able to see us and the cake. So, we changed to my Mac and realized that I have not gotten the converter because of the need to connect the HDMI and we tried searching for ways to cast screen mirroring but how also need the HDMI cable. 

Then, we took Adrian's old laptop and after setting it up, we realized that the sound system was already kaput and what is a Zoom call if we cannot hear anyone. 

We then screen mirrored my iPhone but realized that we can only see 4 people on the screen. Problem I tell you. I wanted to go inside my room and hide under the blanket already at this point. 

So our only choice is to connect to the TV using Huawei's laptop and got creative in stacking up and arranging the laptop so the webcam can see all of us. Then, the sound would not come off the TV - so it was super soft and we could hardly hear anyone :( 

It was only after the whole sing birthday song thing that I suddenly realized that I needed to change the sound setting in the Zoom app! SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE. 

It was so hard to swallow this one because I always do it for my previous boss so how can I forget this time. Goodness me. 

There were more people who dialed in to be part of the birthday party, but when Eulene took this photo, many have left and I totally did not take any photos, please. And I was too busy trying to stop Sofia from finishing the entire cake heh. Also, apologies to those whom I forgot to send the link to - it was really a packed day for me, and Adrian had to work and all. 

Anyways, when it was time to sing the birthday song, Alex decided to not stand in front of his 'half'-eaten cake (by Sofia haha) and insist to sit on the sofa. 

I found out later that night that he wanted to sit on the sofa because he wanted to see everyone on the TV! I am guessing that he wanted to see everyone's face as we sing the birthday song for him! Oh, my heart. 

Although he didn't show it, I think Alex had a great time with everyone through Zoom - not our ideal way to celebrate but it's still something! I remembered feeling so happy and thankful when I was reflecting on it at night - feeling really blessed. 

THANK YOU ALL FOR LOVING ALEX. 

To my Alex boy, 

Happy Birthday and my constant prayer for you is that you will always find your strength in the Lord and your identity in Him. Never in us or the world. You are such a sensitive boy and that is okay. I know one day, you will be able to have more control over them. Now, you are just as confused as I may be at times. 

But remember that I love you, and you actually don't have to do anything more or less because I already love you so much. You also don't have to be like anyone for us to love you. 

Amazing how in one day, you can make me smile so hard and make me want to explode in frustration. You challenge me in ways I never knew is possible. And for that, I get to grow. I get to see things from another perspective. I get to be less self-centered. I get to be better. 

So, thank you for being my son. 

Thank you for loving me okay. 

Love you forever my little man. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Healthy Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Cookies.

 Gone are the days when I crave cookies and go look outside and buy - like from Subway and other places - because cookies that are too sweet are just a no-go. 

I know of people who particularly want sweet cookies, and yes cookies need to be sweet, if not tak sedap okay. Don't know what has gotten into me also, because I've been trying to eat healthier. Heh. I can almost hear Adrian laughing at me saying that. Hah. 

It's true la okay. 

The keyword is 'I try'. 

I was scrolling through recipes on Instagram and I saw the photo of these healthy cookies and looked at the recipes, and they are so simple!

So simple I decided to try it the next day! 

It's flourless and sugarless - so if you have bananas (better if overripe), rolled oats, and peanut butter, then you are set to go! It's so easy, quick,, and healthy!

Also, according to the website where I found this recipe, this recipe is vegan, gluten-free, oil-free, sugar-free, and naturally sweetened! "Nutritious enough to have it for breakfast". 

Here are the recipes and there is a video that you can watch too :) 

These measurements are meant to make about 60 regular size cookies okay, so if you would like to make lesser than that, then just divide all the number by half. 

If not, you can always make more and give them to your friends. I realized kids somehow love the cookies more than adults - because it's really very healthy kind okay. 

INGREDIENTS:

• 4 cups rolled oats
• 2 cups of mashed banana (about 5-6 big ones)
• 2/3 cup peanut butter
• 2/3 chocolate chip (optional)
• 2 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
• 1 tsp cinnamon (optional)
• 1 tsp salt 

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 175 degrees. Line a baking sheet over a baking pan. 
2. In a large bowl, mix together mashed bananas, peanut butter, vanilla extra, cinnamon, and salt. 
3. Add rolled oats and chocolate chips (or cranberries - optional) and mix until all is combined. 
4. Scoop the dough into the baking pan and flatten it. 
5. Bake for 15-minutes (for cherry texture). Anything more than 17-minutes will make the cookies quite hard. 
6. Let it cool and enjoy! 

You can choose not to add the peanut butter if you want to be extremely healthy or something, but the peanut butter I feel makes it a lot nicer! Also, you can omit the chocolate chips. It's really very simple and you really can be flexible with any ingredients you want to add in. 

I tried making smaller versions but 15-minutes seems to be too long for them. So, I stayed with the regular size and 15-minutes is just ngam! :)

Enjoy this little quick video to see how it was done! 

Till next baking session, bye now.