Goodbye Last Year, Hello This Year!

2017 is by far the most happening year for me.

Also, it is a year where I didn't blog 'that much'. It's not like I have forgotten about it, definitely not. If anything, blogging keeps me sane - sort of.

It helps me to relax.

So, that's why my only resolution this year is to blog and document as many events as I can here.

But seriously, who am I kidding?

With so many things that's going to happen, this cannot be my only resolution, and since I will have too many resolutions and probably not going to fulfill all of them, I might as well not have any resolutions this year. Heh.

Kong ka liau.

Anyways, 2017 has been a real ride for both Adrian and myself. I cannot say much on behalf of him since I still have got so much to learn about this spontaneous man everyday. We've only been married for a year plus so yeah.

God has been good throughout my life, and 2017 is not an exception.

We may have lost a baby earlier last year, but we have gained a deeper intimacy with each other and a small part of understanding what it meant when we vowed 'through good times and bad'. I have never allowed myself to weep and be completely fragile and weak in front of another human until we lost Little Dot and found myself vulnerable in the arms of the man that I truly love.

Of course, not long after that, we found out that we are expecting again - oh the emotional ride it had taken us just within that few months heh.

You would think that being pregnant few months after losing one would help emotionally, but I tell you that's not true. In fact, I find myself being a little more emotional (could be the hormones) thinking about Little Dot while carrying this one inside.

It does not make it any easier, but it is certainly not the kind of sadness where it paralyses you okay. It's the kind that empowers you even more, makes you a stronger being.

I also left my 4-years job with a great company and joined the church. With that being said, I also did not travel to as many places as I would like to, but that's okay. Koay would disagree because we did visit Australia for about 2-weeks. Heh. Oh how I miss Melbourne, Sydney and Brissy already.

Maybe this year, we can visit Perth and Tasmania - ahem ahem. Hah. And maybe Japan.

What a life-changing year right.

Now that 2017 has been great and is in the past now, I look forward to what this year is going to bring. So far, being pregnant has been comfortable (except for the ongoing flu) and I would not have it other way.

We have less than 6 months before tiny human comes and our life changes again. We appreciate every date-night we can get now although that's a bit difficult now since he has been on a very intensive floorball training to prepare for the upcoming Floorball World Championship thingy.

That also means less than a month till I get to travel to Jeju - babymoon yas!

This is also going to be the year I no longer get to celebrate being in the twenties - boo. Age is just a number anyways heh.

OH OH AND WE CAN FINALLY SAY GOODBYE TO DIGI FOR GOOOOD! Adrian's contract with them ends on 31 December 2017 so I cannot wait till we can change to Maxis and we can happily surf the net in the comfort of our own home. Yasss.

I guess I'm going to be signing off now since Daryl is taking his first nap of the day, I think I shall to.

I hope everyone's 2018 is going to be kicking-backside kind.

Till then, bye now. 

Pregnancy Update: Week 12.

"We need to celebrate because it's the end of the first trimester!"

I was definitely counting down to second trimester. Praying all the while that as I say bye to the first 3 months, I would also say bye to nausea and dizziness and high risk of losing this one.

And indeed, prayer answered.

HELLO TINY HUMAN

We finally saw the baby and good news is that the fibroid that grew from 3 cm to 5.4 cm within a month has finally stopped growing. It is also quite far from where tiny human is so that's a yay.

Tiny human is about 6 cm now and we could see very clearly the hands and feet on the 3D ultrasound. One of the thing that wows me was how tiny human was moving left and right the entire time we were watching the ultrasound.

Too surreal to actually see a human that tiny somewhere behind my belly button. It's really amazing.

APPETITE

My 'need' of curry on a daily basis has seemed to decrease as the day goes by. I don't really need to have my banana leaf curry rice that badly anymore. Heh.

Good news for Koay.

Instead, my cravings have turned to sweeter-not-so-healthy things, like ice-cream (particularly Magnum heh) and potato chips!

And bananas!

And chocolates.

Oh no.

CONSTIPATION

To my surprise, I now can poop once every two days (give and take). Few weeks ago, I only poop once a week (with a lot of pain some more).

So, this I am very thankful of.

Maybe it's because of the bananas.

ENERGY LEVEL

This is also getting better. I realized I didn't need to rest as much throughout the day and I don't feel s exhausted as I was before. Getting better seriously.

SKIN CONDITION

Still as dry as the Sahara Desert thank you.

WHAT PERIOD?

One of the best feeling of not having to experience period for the past 3 months! Looking forward to 6 more months of no menstrual whatsoever.. Muahahah.

BABY BUMP

It's getting bigger in a faster mode.

I went to register at the Klinik Kesihatan Ibu & Anak and the nurse commented that my bump actually looked like I'm in 4-months term. Then, she pressed more and realized about the fibroid - highly likely because of fibroid because it's at the bottom of the womb (something like that).

Nah some ultrasound photos to see a three-month old tiny human inside me.

Can see hands and feet so cute I cannot take it.

How can there be another living human growing inside of me? It is the weirdest yet the best feeling ever.

Okay, so earlier I did mentioned about a fibroid in my uterus and here's a photo of it.

Tiny human was about 2 months plus so still a bit small compared to the fibroid. Now, tiny human is bigger already yass.

There are two dotted lines on each other and you can see pretty clearly the big black thingy underneath the baby sac. So yeah.

Normally, fibroid does not grow in size, however for my case, it is growing. It was about 3cm when we saw tiny human's heartbeat on the monitor and now it's about 5cm.

It should not harm the baby in any way so yeah. As of the last check-up, it was quite far away from tiny human so Dr. Soon reassured us that all looking fine now.

He will continue to monitor this fibroid.

SLEEP PATTERN

I am currently using two pillows for my head so that my backbones don't hurt throughout the night. It has already started and it's no surprise because my backbones apparently are a little too curved to the right (or is it to the left?).

Wakes up at least 3 times or more at night to pee, definitely a yes.

CONCLUSION

I think I am now beginning to enjoy this pregnancy a lot more compared to the first trimester. Guys may not realize this but a slight of nausea can really ruin your entire day/mood.

So, I am beyond thankful that nausea is no more and my mood seems to be a whole lot better. Heh.

Creamy Mushroom Soup.

So, I've noticed that other than pregnancy-related stuff, I hardly write anything anymore - not that I have written a lot about pregnancy stuff.

There is one thing that I miss a lot, and that is (no brainer) travelling.

Writing about hotel stays and catching a plane to another country.

I know for a fact that the reason I blogged very little for the past 3 months was because of how I was always feeling - nauseous and tired most of the time.

See, another baby-related thing. Ah.

Anyways, now that I am feeling so much better - nausea only comes at night now - I think it's time for me to get back to this comfort place.

There is a project that we needed to work on and that is to clear his previous bachelor room and convert that into a nursery.

No, we are not going to separate tiny human from us - at least not for the first 6 months. But we do need that room to store all tiny human's stuff and I foresee it's going to be a lot of things that we are going to have.

Our room itself cannot put more than a small wardrobe and a babycot so everything else needs to be in the other room.

Also, we are planning to sell off our 1-year plus old mattress so that we could get a firmer one from my sister. We're both light sleepers and we're hoping and praying that tiny human is not going to be a light sleeper.

No, tiny human is not going to share the bed with us but there will be times where we would want to lay him/her on our bed so that we could lie and stare all day err day.

Our current mattress is way too soft for me to be honest.

So, with this on our to-do list before tiny human comes, we should really start to work on it right, but I have got a feeling that we're only gonna really do do it next year after the Jeju. Heh.

Enough of my ransom ramblings here.

2017 is gonna past all of us in about a months' time so let's do the things that we say we want to do this year before it's too late!

Let's not carry to next year's resolution, shall we?

Title of this post - current craving.

Till then, bye now. 

The Best First Year Anniversary Gift To My Husband!

Pregnancy Update: Week 4 - Week 8.

I remembered feeling super excited when Rachel was going into labor with Sha Lynn and I spent like don't know how much money getting cute clothes and things for Sha Lynn.

I was definitely as excited with her second pregnancy, however I did not spend as much money on Daryl as I did on Sha Lynn when he first came out. A lot of hand-me-downs d that's why. So sad right being a second-born. Heh.

But I love both of them as much for sure. 

I'm not quite sure if I am going to be reacting the same way for my own case because to be honest, it is quite difficult to 'enjoy' the pregnancy at this moment.

Okay, I am going to be like really honest here because I am an honest person. Hah. I am. Here are some of the changes/updates from Week 4 to Week 8.

I think most mothers-to-be experience similar things but different people sure got different feel also so yeah. 

MORNING SICKNESS

I started having nausea at Week 4 (before we test on the stick) and it was not too bad at first. It started at night (before going to bed) and its every few days once.

Now, it's a constant friend. I don't get it in the morning (thankful for that!) so I usually have good mornings - got appetite to eat breakfast and all.

It comes before lunch and then after lunch, it stays on until dinner time.

These days, they seem to like making a grand entrance right after I lie down on my bed, next to my husband. I am convinced (100%) that it's the smell of my husband's shampoo. Confirm! 

There are special occasions where if I accidentally smell something that the nose does not approve of, that's it. Whole day nausea begins. It is that sensitive.

I have no control of my body anymore I tell you. It's insane.

However, I am thankful (in a way) that I feel this nausea everyday because it means that I am still pregnant. it's crazy thinking I know.

Some days, I pray for the nausea not to come because it can get really tiring to fight it.

ENERGY LEVEL

This one was a huge surprise for me. I've heard Leny mentioned so many times on how she would feel tired for no apparent reason and I thought I knew what she meant. I thought. It was until when I felt it that I thought to myself that this cannot be lasting the entire 9 months of pregnancy right.

It's like I get tired 2 hours after I wake up in the morning, and the only 'heavy' thing I did was eat breakfast and walk to the toilet. It's madness.

Some days, I just want to lie down and not do anything.

EXPANDING TWINS

No, I am not having twins please. I'm referring to my boobies. Okay, maybe I should not use this word - a bit too rough here.

They have grown bigger since the first time nausea hits. I feel like they are still growing and I may need to for bra-shopping soooon.

I realized many of my dresses are tighter on top because of them, and it's weird because it feels as though I am suffocating them.

Someone asked me in church the other day (name shall not be revealed), "Why you wear so revealing?"

Excuse me. That dress is a decent dress okay. I used to wear it all the time and it wasn't as 'revealing'. Please understand that I will look somewhat different in some of the clothes I used to wear because my body is going to keep expanding. Thank you for understanding :) Heh.

Also, I guess more shopping sessions are needed for this expanding body. Oh no. 

CONSTIPATION

A real-life struggle.

Very tough.

RANDOM CRAVINGS

This one is an absolute headache for Koay.

And I'm not even like taking it as an advantage (yet) hah - I kid you not!

Because of this constant nausea, my cravings usually come very last minute. Right when the nausea ends, then suddenly the appetite for random foods will come.

Some of my favorite food - Thai food (absolute top favorite), prawns, Lor Mee, mom's steamed fish and pork (sio-bak/char-siew) all gone down the drain. Everytime someone suggest Thai food, I will always yes to it. Now, please. It's like summoning for the nausea to come everytime I think of Thai food. So sad right. 

I used to love prawns a lot. This morning, I had to ask Koay finish all my Char Koay Teow's prawns. ALL OF IT. I could not stand to even look at it. That was how bad. And I had Char Koay Teow for breakfast! That is so impossible for the old-Sarah Khoo please. 

One thing that I still enjoy a lot is steamboat. Thank God that never changed. 

The number one thing that I crave the most now (almost everyday!) is curry. It can be indian curry, mamak curry, malay curry or chinese curry. As long as it is curry, I 'll have it please. 

With Koay's constant nagging to eat healthily, now I consciously make decisions not to eat curry everyday. Like what Pastor Cowan said to me, "Your baby eats what you eat!" 

So yeah. 

SMOOTH SKIN

Definitely not in my case. 

I have had more pimples on my face for the past 8 weeks than I had in the entire year. Some moms shared with me that their skin became very soft and smooth and glow-y. Maybe mine haven't start yet. 

My face got rounder I know la. Smoother pfft. 

Also, my face tends to get really dry in the morning so now I am starting to use moisturizer before sleep and after morning shower. 

AWKWARD BUMP

As of today, I am at Week 9 and the bump is slightly bigger than my normal belly size. It's so awkward looking now because it's too small to look like a baby bump and big enough to look like that over-eating food-bump. Heh.

I have started using the anti-stretch-mark lotion by Palmer's Cocoa Butter. Typical Asian of me because when I was choosing between the cream or lotion type, I chose lotion because it has one extra ingredient - Shea Butter.

Loved the smell so far!

Also, I realized that my baby bump is bigger than a normal Week 9 bump and it is probably because of the growing fibroid in my womb. I will get to that on my next post.

So that's about it for now.

Till next time. 

Bye now. 

How We Found Out We're Pregnant (Round 2)!

[I CAN FINALLY BE OUT AND OPEN ABOUT THE PREGNANCY YASSS. It's been the most torturing 5 weeks to 'try' keep it a secret. Heh. Oh wells.]

Here goes.

There was a day sometime the second last week of September where I felt an intense nausea (the same kind during our first pregnancy) and immediately I wondered. I decided to wait till my period is overdue then only check because you know what, pregnancy test kits are really expensive.

I actually lost my appetite the few weeks before I did this test and lost 2 kg. I thought I was doing well on my 'get slimmer body' diet. Heh.

It was a Saturday, and I immediately thought that it was my one-year anniversary because I did get married on a Saturday last year, only to realize on Sunday that my actual anniversary was on Sunday, the twenty-fourth.

Aduhai otakku.

My alarm clock that Saturday morning was set at 7:00am because I needed to leave house by 8:00am to Batu Feringghi for my Counselling Those in Crisis course.

I woke up that morning with a feeling that I should pee on a stick (my period wasn't even due yet) and see if two lines will appear. I said this prayer before I went to pee - "God, Your timing is perfect and this would be the perfect timing to get pregnant because it's our first anniversary!" - thinking that Saturday was twenty-fourth but it was actually only twenty-third. Bleh.

I peed on the stick and left it on the basin.

Brushed my teeth, put on my contact lens and showered.

Then, there it was. The very faint second red line. Very very faint but I knew there and then that there is a baby in me alright. It looks like there is no line but the faint line was quite visible.

I was beyond all kinds of emotions.

Happy, 'oh-my-goodnessss-whatt', excited, fear, disbelief, 'is-this-real', 'thank you God!' et cetera.

I walked out and collapsed on my bed and gave myself a good 5-10 minutes to cry all these mixed emotions out. It was surreal.

The weekends went on like the usual routine - spending time with my family and close friends - which was by the way just pure torture because I could not tell anyone about the stick!

I tested it again with the RM30+ Clearblue Digital and with that, sure cannot go wrong right.

I wanted Adrian to be the first to find out so I have to wait till he knows then only the rest of the world.

Earlier that week, Adrian left to Johor for a national floorball tournament (Merdeka Cup 2017) and he would be spending about 5 nights there. Since we were not able to celebrate our anniversary together on the actual day, I thought perhaps I could surprise him with gifts everyday.

And I did just that. Everyday he would receive different gifts from different people. Thank you Ling Ling for organizing the surprises for me - and Termin, Michaela, Yen Yen and Winnie for being the postman/woman!

By the way, congratulations to both men and women's team - they won champion this year! Yasss.

So with all that little gifts, I knew I had to end it with the best gift yet.

I Googled and Pinterested on ways to surprise husband for pregnancy and finally decided to go with the one thing that I think it's best considering the time I had left when I decided to surprise him NOT AT HOME.

His ETA from Johor was about 6am, and I only started preparing the 'surprise-kit' at 12am.. Less than six hours to go.

The Clearblue Digital test Kit died on me that day! The battery can only last up to 24 hours apparently so I had to pee on another stick! Heh.

I obviously did not really sleep that night. I just had to tell someone that I've got a baby in me and I was so nervous. My heart was beating so fast.

And the thing is that the plan was to surprise him over dinner at Straits Quay but I was so close to giving the box to him that morning - so glad I held myself back.

Then, another dilemma.

Give him before the food comes, or after dinner?

My heart was beating out of my chest already and I decided that I am not going to wait till after dinner because it was killing me softly inside already.

So I had to just do it there and then.

Right after we ordered, he asked if I wanted a glass of wine.

If I said no, he would have figured out something is weird, so I said, "You should order one" - for himself only.

Then, I took out my phone, hit record and gave him that precious box.

Was he surprised?

You bet. He didn't see it coming at all - as you can see in the video (posting soon). Heh. My heart was so full that moment.

I decided to take a video because it's this kind of moment that makes my heart beats ten times faster. I shall post the video another time.

On the same night, we went home and broke the news to his sisters and mom - to which three of them were surprised too and really happy!

I wanted to just tell the whole world there and then okay! But we already have a plan to surprise my family so have to wait no matter what.

We went to bed that night holding hands and smiling. It's madness.

Then, two days later we decided to surprise my family (and the bridesmen).

My mom, dad and Vanessa was shocked. They never see it coming! Rachel was feeling more 'betrayed' because I didn't tell her first or like give hints or what. This time, I decided to surprise everyone at the same time so yeah.

No video this round.

That was it!

As of today, I am about 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and we have been feeling great and happy and really really happy!

We saw the fetus and the yolk sac and then the heartbeat - just one of the most amazing thing. Will update on that the next time.

Thank You Jesus for this baby!

We know that God's timing is perfect and for us to find out on our first year of anniversary was just the cherry on top of the cake. It makes it so much more meaningful and special!

Adrian already started his 'daddy duty'. Sort of.

You must start doing Sudoku - he believes it will help to sharpen baby's brain development.
You cannot eat spicy food already - this is almost impossible to do. What logic is that?
No Tomyam soup - the one thing I crave a lot these days :(
Don't walk too much - loved this one heh.
Drink a lot a lot of water please - still work in progress.
What do you feel like eating today? - yasss.
Miss you and the baby - *and the baby* :)
Make sure you feed my baby well - whatt.

Till then, bye now.

Short Hello.

Hello!

This place has been quiet lately huh.

Oh wells.

I will be back soon because I've got so much things to tell you guys!

We just got back from Koh Lipe, and probably never make another trip there. Heh.

It's been a really-needed getaway though.

The past 2 weeks has been very tiring for me, but all for a good reason so no, I am not complaining here.

September came and left just like that, but it left us with the sweetest thing ever - we celebrated our first anniversary and though we did not managed to celebrate on the day itself, it was still the most meaningful date-night.

Tell you guys more next time.

So glad that Friday is just tomorrow!

YASSSS!

Till then, bye now.