Turning Thirty.

'Age doesn't matter, unless you are cheese'

'Live your life, and forget your age'

'Age is just a number'

Ever since I celebrated my twenty-two, I realized that I was no longer as excited to celebrate birthdays anymore, and it's really because I hate the idea of growing older - or growing up, depends how you want to see it.

Then, twenty-five came, and then before I knew it, I became twenty-eight and signed my life away to one man, for the rest of my living years.

Even before we reach or one-year of being sealed together, we got pregnant and I was twenty-nine.

Now, I celebrate being thirty because in about three months, my life is going to take another turn. I'm going to be giving my life to yet, another boy (for now) and I know for sure, I'm going to be a different Sarah Khoo.

I am already changing a little by little (mentally and emotionally) to prepare for his arrival. It's insane.

Growing up, I have this ideal idea of when would be the best time to do certain things - like getting married, have kids and earn beyond a certain amount et cetera. But we all know that reality is that MOST of the time, these things don't meet with the idealistic part of your idea.

I wanted to get married at 25, and have my first child by 27 and then every year after that or something.

But I got married at 28, pregnant at 29 and giving birth to a baby boy at 30.

So yes, if you ask me, the last few years have been nothing but exciting, and that could be a huge contribution to why I am starting to be more 'welcoming' of the three-zero - not that I have a choice also anyways.

Initially, I have wanted to throw myself a party at McDonalds (heh) and really it's because I have always wanted to have a birthday party at McDonalds since young okay. Who says adults cannot celebrate birthdays in McDonalds, right?

And I guess turning thirty would be the best time.

So, I started emailing the people at McDonalds but no one replied - and after a while, the 'passion' died down and I became lazy.

Then I came out with so many different party ideas that in the end, I decided that I am not going to do any of it. One of which (that got his vote even) was to have it at our humble small home - and I could just put up fairy lights in the garden outside and have barbecue sessions with close friends.

Then again, I canceled the idea and decided to spend it with just him and family.

This is me not being in the twenties anymore.

Heh.

It was the simplest way to usher in the three-zero, and I would not have it done it any other way if given another chance to change things.

Thank you guys for all your warm wishes on the social media and in person. Heard and appreciate all of them.

Here's what I'm going to leave you with:

'Never be afraid to trust 
an unknown future 

to a known God'

Till next time, bye now.

Koay's Love Language #18.

We were in KL the other week and we went shopping at Atria Mall.

Him: Choose a pair that you like. I'll buy it for you.
Me: *eyesbrows raised* What do you want from me? Hah.
Him: The current shoe makes your toes painful ma, so get a new one la.
Me: Serious wan ah? I choose ah? *walks around like a queen*
Him: Nah, this one nice.
Me: This is too pink for me already dei, but others are too girly also. Hmm.
Him: This one seriously nice la, and it's Puma. Get this one.
Me: *tried it on and it looked great* Okaylah. This shall be it then.

Few weeks later back in Penang, I got a call from him during office hours.

Him: Babe, the dinner plan got cancelled so no plan tonight d okay.
Me: Okay! *in my head I was planning to go watch movie and wanted to suggest already*
Him: Okay, so tonight this is what is going to happen.
Me: Huh? Okay.. *hear and see first*
Him: After work, you go back to your house and change and then we go hiking/running at Botanical Garden, then we go Adventist Hospital to visit Adrian and Caren, then back to my house to plan our room's lighting all.
Me: Errr, okay.. G!

It looks like the 'buy sport shoes for me' thing is a trap! A trap to ask me go exercise because now I cannot say no. If I really say no, he will most likely end up not talking to me one whole day because the deal is sealed.

To be fair, he did mentioned it that time when he pay for the shoes that all he wants in return for this shoe is for both of us to exercise together, but I really thought he was joking and he will like forget about it, but nope. Not even close.

Now that I'm documenting this, it's slowly to grow on me that this is pretty sweet la. In one of our pre-marital counselling session, he did mentioned that one of his expectation and things he really enjoy doing with me is exercise time.

We used to play floorball together, okay maybe not like together-gether kind, but we would sweat together (sort of) until I decided to end my floorball chapter due to health and laziness reasons. Heh.

I guess we will be venturing more into hiking because that's for sure one thing that we both love.

Love you, Mut.

Bye now. 

Friyay: Google Adsense Yes!

This is a good Friday because I have finally gotten the permission to display Google Adsense's ads here and earn in something that is not in Ringgit.

The happiness is not entirely because it's the US Dollar that I will earn, but more to the fact that I finally got it. 

When I first apply for it, I was rejected. Boohoo. So, I keep trying and finally with more readings and clicking here and there, it finally happened.

Have you ever like hope and do something only to be turned down a few times and when you finally achieve it, its like you're on top of the world.

One of the best feeling ever I have to admit.

I'm just glad this chapter is over.

Thank you Google Adsense for this opportunity.

My dream of becoming a full-time blogger seems really achievable now. Heh.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Oh and you can follow my snapchat: sarahkhooyw if you want to! It's really fun I promise you :)

Marry Somebody.

-Carl Lentz-

that loves what you love, more than you love it.

.

.

that does not need you to complete them, because you can't.

.

.

that knows your weakness, and still loves you.

.

.

that is honest about their weakness and you still love them.

.

.

that loves life, with or without money.

.

.

that laughs easily, forgives easily and gives grace easily.

.

.

who has a world that does not revolve around you.

.

.

that will sacrifice what they want, for what you want.

.

.

that you will sacrifice what you want for what they want.

.

.

that is secure enough to tell you what you need instead of what you want, no matter the consequences.

.

.

that believes that love is a choice, not a feeling because they are gonna have to choose you, everyday for the rest of life.

.

.

House Tours.

This could be one of the most first-adult-thing we do together as a couple. Something that
is leading us to a future together I believe. Heh. I don't even know how to explain it. 

It's quite an exciting thing to do okay.

To buy a house!

JUST KIDDING!

We do want to get a house (obviously!) but we have plans. Heh.

So it was Labour Day and this means no work day on a Friday! Syiokness. No alarm clock whatsoever to disturb my precious sleep. We send the car to the Uncle Soon for a makeover and had a slow-paced lunch at Perak Road. 

Then, spontaneously we decided that we shall go hunt for showrooms around Penang since we didn't plan to do anything specific. 

It was fun actually and quite tiring to be honest. Who would ever thought that checking out houses can be so tiring. Heh.

We went to a few developers at south area and then today, we went to three more at north/town area. 


Tropicana Bay Residences by Penang Worldcity.

• 400 sqft studio-style RM390,000.
• 550 sqft one-bedroom RM520,000.

Skycube Residences by GSD Land. (which we both like!)

• 1153 sqft 3-bedrooms RM733,000.
• Completion by 2016.

Gardens Ville by GSD Land.

• 2980 sqft 4-bedrooms 3-floors (maybe 5, I can't remember) RM1,500,000 onwards (I think).

SP Setia. 

• 1153 sqft 3-bedrooms RM700,000 onwards.

Andaman by E&O.

• They have a few different layout and because it's obviously way above our budget, I didn't really bother remembering them. Heh.

Middleton by BSG Property (definitely my favorite!)

• 1409 sqft 3-bedrooms RM1,200,000.
• Completion in 2019.
• I must say that Kaydence (the sales lady who hosted us) had both our attention when she showed us where the house is. We fell in love with the house even more after more details and having a look at their showrooms. AMAZING. Too bad it's so expensive.

MIRA by BSG Property.

• 1,400/1,600 sqft 3-bedrooms RM1,200,000 onwards.
• The cheaper ones has lousy views and it's too far north. Heh.

Eco Terraces by Eco World.

• Around 1,000 sqft 3-bedrooms RM850 per sqft.
• No showroom was available so we looked at photos and illustrations. The whole idea seems really nice but it's located at Paya Terubong. Not a big fan of that area to be honest. We enjoyed our 'sales talk' here because they even served us with a glass of orange juice and a squared-slice of green tea cake to celebrate Mother's Day. Well, I will be one in the future so yes please for the cake and juice :)

At first, we had a few more showrooms to see in the south area on Friday but he suddenly decided for us that we should just head home. I think I know what he was trying to do. 

I was getting a bit sad after the third showroom on Friday because reality hits and we both know it's going to be impossible for us to get a house with this kind of price although we know very clearly that our God is bigger than all this. I knew that but somehow still sad lah okay. So, I think when he saw how I was in the car, he drove to Genting Coffeeshop and we had a wrap-up talk on the showrooms tour and went home to rest. Heh.

I love you, Adrian. You're too sweet. 

I think it's very important to have like a closure-talk after every umm effort or making huge decisions. That post talk on Friday helped both of us a lot in terms of the reality and the main reason why we wanted to go for these house tours. 

To get ideas for house designs! Heh.

Then today we decided again to explore the town ones and it went well I have to say. We realized we have so many disagreements in our house preferences, house designs et cetera but it was a lot more fun to talk about it now. Not so intense anymore. Hah.

This shall be the one thing that we will not worry of because the Big Man has plans. He always have plans :)

Monday has been kind.

Okay, goodnight now. 

C H A N G E.

The most constant thing in the whole universe.

H A I R S T Y L E.

I have no problem keeping it long and have it cut short the very next hour when the cut-hair-mojo is here. No idea why I never feel like coloring them.

T A S T E B U D.

There was one time where I went crazy over Cheerios and bought 4 boxes back home. Another time was beh teh saw. The most recent one has got to be lemon water. This one more like a comeback.

B A G S.

I only need one handbag actually. One that will last long because I really don't like to go for bag-shopping. HATE THEM. So, when I actually like something, I usually will get them because I really don't fall for bags easily. Like this one, which I'm saving money for. 

W O R K.

My office table is completely different than a year ago. One thing that I love about this job is that everyday is a different day. I deal with different kind of people on a daily basis and every company that I go to is different so that's a very big bonus point for me.

S L E E P.

I have decided to switch room with Vanessa just because. I don’t think I have a specific reason on why I decided to do so. I guess it all started when I started sleeping in her room very often whenever Kelly sleeps over. Well, it’s not like I hate sleeping with Kelly but because she kicks and moves a lot in her sleep, I tend to get no sleep at all the next day. Change of room makes me feel new and I love that feel.

D E C O R A T I O N.

The need/want to change the wall color and the entire set-up of the room is bugging me so badly but I also know that it’s going to take up so much money, time and effort. The three things that is pretty precious this year. Dilemma.

i P H O N E 5 S.

I change my wallpaper more often that anyone I know I think. I even will re-organize the apps as to how I feel or saja. Now, it's all color coordinated and all in the same page.

F R I E N D S.

This is no shocker. People come and people go. It sucks big time when people leave though. This year itself, I've had my fair share of people leaving, be it the island, the country or the workplace. It just sucks.

C L O T H I N G.

It has always been whatever that's simple and not flowery or lace-y or complicated. However, I discovered that now I'm okay with all of the above. I am now more daring in wearing things that I once will never even try it on. 

S H O E S.

It has always been flats and it always will, until recently when heels and open sandals happened. This is one of my shopping poison. Once, I bought 4 pairs in a shopping go in less than 2 hours I reckoned. Hmm.

L O V E.

This one please don't change already. I went through a break-up once and that experience is something that I do not ever want to go through again. So, lover of mine, you're staying mine forever already. Heh. 

H E A L T H.

This is quite unpredictable, isn't it? It feels like there's nothing I can do much to do anything about it but actually no. Things I eat, drink and do affects my body obviously so yeah. I think I'm doing fairly well compared to the last 3 years. The three lumps in my lungs are gone according to the x-ray months ago. My scar is surprisingly fading off slowly. All's good :)

M O N E Y.

If it keeps going up, it's good change. As long as the commitment stays at the same level then it's perfectt! God has been good to me in terms of this. I have got promoted two times over the span of my two and half years here :)

W O R L D.

I have been to more places that I've expected since I started and it looks like it's on a roll. I am always planning for a vacation, short or long. It's always behind in my head. If I can earn money by travelling, I would but then again I might not since I won't be able to see my family so much. If not, I would have applied for airlines cabin crew and fly all over. Heh.

If you know me well enough, you would know that I’m someone who loves changing things up every once in a while, but some changes I rather not have to go through them if given a choice. Oh well. Life as it is :)

How To Be A Man 201.

How To Be A Man 101.

Not that I'm a pro or something when it comes to all these 'wisdom' of becoming a man. Heh. Although I did (and still is!) spend a lot of my time hanging out with boys rather than girls. Less drama. Hah.

So yes, if you have ever killed a COCKROACH (doesn't matter what size it is since roaches has to be the most disgusting house insects!) with your bare hands, no tissue paper, no cardboard, no shoes, no slippers. Just with your hand, you automatically got leveled up in becoming a man. 

Good job, Koay. You are one level up already :)

Our Third Year of Date-ship.

It was such an easy morning to wake up to yesterday. We were both excited to celebrate because it hits us that we actually got together for 3 years already.

If not mistaken, we have been friends for over 7 years. 

I shall tell you the story of how/when/where we first became friends.

Please excuse some quite blurry photos. Anyone wants to take couple shots for us for free? We can be your guinea pigs! Heh.

Anyways, 7 years ago, fireBRANDS had just joined Floorball and they needed at least 3 secretariats. Since no one wanted to do it, I told Alex that I will volunteer to help until he finds someone who can do it more often than me. 

Then, we had this secretariat meeting where we were given a briefing on how to do the scoring etc. There were like 20 boys (I think) and I was the only girl. Back then, I think there were no all-girls team. I'm not so sure.

But according to Koay, I was the only girl there and he had already noticed me. His first impression on me was not a very good one. Hah. He thought I looked weird, like funny kind of weird. I didn't even know he existed then. AND HE NOTICED ME FIRST so that explains a lot about who like who first. Though that time wasn't even counted. Since we can never agree on who like who first, it will always be the other one then.

On the very first game that I was involved in and on duty for secretariat work, I was one of the scorekeeper I think. There was someone sitting on my left and Alex was on my right. Koay was sitting next to the someone on my left and he was the timekeeper. I didn't know their names. How to remember right? So many new people.

So, halfway through the game, I needed to check how much time was left. So, I gave Koay a poke on the shoulder and asked him. It was after the game that we introduced ourselves among the secretariat team.

That's how we met, sort of. 

To cut the story short, we became best friends when he came to KDU College and enrolled in the same course as I did. No, we were not course mates because I started my course first. One semester earlier, but we spend a lot of time together in college and also then, I started playing floorball already.

Looking back, I was sure that he's the one person that I will never date because of various reasons that I will not reveal here, other than the fact that I was already attached that time. As for him, he thought the same thing. His preference of a girl that he would date was just not me-kind-of-girl. He wanted someone tall, someone younger (for sure!), someone girlier, someone who plays sports actively, someone taller (yes, I've said that already but he really wanted a girl who's taller than him!! ), someone probably darker (I don't know!). My color quite nice what. Haha. There is just no way that we would love each other in that sense. It has always been me and him as best buddies, doing stupid things together. 

But I guess things changed and here we are, in love with each other. Heh. Bieber say never say never.

It's definitely NOT love at first sight. 

Okay, back to our three years of dating dinner. 

I was supposed to finish work at 5:30pm right because we wanted to catch the sunset. Last minute, I had to rush a mini project and got held back for a while. Straight panicked and kept looking at the sky to see if the sun has gone down.

We rushed home and changed quickly. While driving towards Balik Pulau, he kept assuring that the sun is still quite high and all. We got there and the sun was still high in the sky. Haven't gone down yet. So, we hang around and took some photos.

We ordered and ate like a royalty. Since it's going to be just once a year kinda thing, we spam terus. It was a lot for just two persons dinner okay. And yes, we tapau-ed back some of the food because it's impossible for us to finish all. 

The night was special because I was with him. That's all that matters. I wasn't afraid to let him see my bulging tummy. I wasn't afraid if I had to dig my nose in front of him (okay, maybe not so much). I wasn't afraid if he would judge me when I eat like a boy. I felt most comfortable with him. Best friend for life okay?

In my every night prayer, I thank God for you, Adrian Koay. You were there at the right time and right place when everyone else was not. It was you who taught me the real meaning of GIVING. Okay, no need write too long essay already. You know deep inside can d. I lazy type so long. Heh. Conclusion is I love you long long time, Muthu! :)

Here's to many more amazing years for the both of us :)

Sixteenth of January.

ONE.
I am still looking for a cover for the phone. It's hard to find one that I like and willing to pay for because those that I like costs more than RM50 usually.

TWO.
I cannot believe that we will be celebrating our three years together in few days time. Good times always passed by quicker than realized. 

THREE.
I need to eat banana leaf rice sooooon.

FOUR.
I just realized that I'm supposed to get extra 2 days leave this year for working for more than 2 years already. Yeeehaa!

FIVE.
I still didn't manage to find out what was it that makes me itchy every once in a while. No idea what food items.

SIX.
Everyday since 1 January 2015, ONE baby cockroach will crawl out and roam around my table. That's 16 baby roaches that I've killed. No kidding. Today, I was so frustrated that I took my WhatTwoEatHere's name card and killed it. I JUST CLEANED MY WHOLE ENTIRE TABLE TWO DAYS AGO. I don't know what else to do.

SEVEN.
I didn't realized that getting a new calculator can bring so much joy it's ridiculous.

EIGHT.
I'm quite excited for the HQ's Annual Trip to Johor next week. Get to stay at Hilton and spend a whole afternoon at Legoland, playing Amazing Race with the other 270 staffs of Holiday Tours & Travel. Yes, my company is huge and quite famous if you ask me :)

NINE.
Yes, our packages may be slightly more pricey but we guarantee good quality. We put very high priority to making your holiday/travelling a memorable one. Of course unless you just want to step foot in that country and don't bother about the kind of hotel you stay and kind of food you eat.

TEN.
I am very proud to be part of this company. The pay isn't much but I wake up easy every morning because I love doing things for this travel agency. 

ELEVEN.
The other day, Muthu and I almost had an argument through Whatsapp (because we were both at work) and what he did after we stopped was sweet. Obviously, we were kinda cold to each other because just kinda argued right? So, like ten minutes later, he sent over a voice message. I waited till I was out of the office only play it because who knows maybe he wants to continue the argument or something right? Turns out, it was him singing a song alongside with the radio.. "Oh uu oh uu yeahyee yeahyee, I love you more than I can say.. I love you twice as much tomorrow.. woah love you more than I can say.."

TWELVE.
I have been craving for grilled chicken breast meat a lot lately. 

THIRTEEN.
It looks like most likely scuba diving plan this year has to be postponed. Something else in our mind. Heh.

FOURTEEN.
I do not like the fact that I'm so close to the big three zero. It sucks, but since I'm such a positive person, I shall always be 22.

FIFTEEN.
I've been quite disciplined in my eating habits. Quite proud of myself.

SIXTEEN.
It's going to be a year with many changes. MANY.

Hair Down.

I thought for a very long time how I was going to end this year. 

Knowing me, I need to have like a plan ahead of me so that I can start to picture how it goes and stuff. Everything has to be properly planned out or at least I need to know what kind of food  I will be eating. Food makes me happy.

Anyways, this has been a real struggle believe it or not. When I can't seem to get the plans planned out properly or things like that, I allow it to get at me and it will makes me so annoyed. To the point I just wanna go to a corner and sulk.

So, the fourth quarter of this year I made a decision to work on it. Hah. Like battling with alcoholism or something. 

I kept telling myself to let loose and allow myself to do spontaneous things. Random and out of the blue kind. To for once not plan anything, control the flow and making sure everything goes well.

To let down my hair and do as per the moment. 

It hasn't been easy obviously, but I enjoy myself even more in a very different way. It still gets me on my nerves sometimes but it's been a fun ride.

A roller-coaster is only fun when it goes up and falls down suddenly right? Okay, maybe not so much. Heh.

Blessed Christmas Eve, everyone. 

No Time.

OH MY GOODNESS.

I need to come here update more. 

Honestly, I don't even have time to go grocery shopping for things that I really need like my body shampoo.

I'm actually using Kelly's fruit flavored body gel. S, if you happen to smell some fruity scent from me, don't ask, just smile :)

Leaving office now to go for FGA's Leadership Conference. But first, I shall have the world's best lor mee. 

See you tonight, young people. 

The Big G.

It's been like what, 2-3 years since my batch graduated?

I started working after I finished college, just as a part timer at Dream Catcher Consulting. I was a part timer because there wasn't any vacancy for full timer, so I chose to just be a part timer while waiting for an available slot to open up. 

All that before I had my graduation ceremony, before I receive the scroll on stage. 

It was one of the most memorable day on my graduation day. It matters big time. What was missing was my grandfather being there to witness my scroll receiving, but it's okay because my grandmother was there. 

It was an emotional event because a part of me knew that this graduation ceremony also means that now we can go our separate ways officially. Chances of not meeting up often is sky high. That saddens me somehow.

I've always loved the life I had during my college years. So, when graduation happened, it was bye-bye to everyone and we then move on to another phase of life.

Change, the only constant thing in the world, right? 

But this kind of change freaks me. People leaving, people changing.. All that sucks all my happiness away. 

I'd like to think of myself as someone who embraces change quite easily. I don't mind changing my phone's wallpaper, change my hairstyle suddenly, the way I do certain things.. I don't. In fact, change sometimes makes me happy. 

But this kind of change is a total opposite of how I would normally love to have. I don't like to have LDR with my friends. I don't like the fact that now we are grown up and out of college, we have our own life now.

I hate it.

Anyways, thankfully we still managed to hang out once in a while, just catching up each other's life. Most of the time, we tend to talk about our jobs and money and that's just so normal because people grow up. Heh. 



I don't even want 2015 to happen because I know more of this kind of change will happen, and my life will once again hit the 'reset' button. I hate it.

But yeah, it's times like tho that I truly appreciate. 

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS NIKKI! You're now an adult! Welcome to the working world, where everything is a lot more fun except for the part when you have to wake up at 8am every morning! Heh.

Cherish your school/college years because those are the times where you will make the most memorable memories, as long as you allow them to be made :)

As for me, it's about time to finally face my reality. Or maybe I'll just forever stay at 22. That works fine for me :)

Heh.

Welcome Home MH17.

MH17, an international passenger flight was shot down on 17th July 2014.

There were no survivors. In fact, it is believed that the passengers might not even know what hit them. 

This is the deadliest airline shootdown in history and Malaysia Airlines' worst incident. Not to mention just months before, MH370 went missing from the radar and even until now, still not found.

Today, as I listened to the radio and read updates from Facebook, I have goosebumps all day. 

I don't personally know anyone on board this ill-fated flight but I shed a few tears today as the bodies came home.

When I typed the words WELCOME HOME MH17, it really did something inside. I really meant it. Welcome home, passengers of MH17. Welcome home.

This is home. 

Malaysia is our home.

I don't know how to write this post. I'm just everywhere. 

I just read most, if not all of the passengers life stories told by their wife, parents, grandparents, best friends and children. 

It's really so heartbreaking. 

Rest in peace, crew members and passengers of MH17.

Crew members:

1. Mastura Mustafa (F)
2. Ahmad Hakimi Hanapi (M)
3. Hamfazlin Sham Mohamed Arifin (F)
4. Nur Shazana Mohamed Salleh (F)
5. Dora Shahila Kassim (F)
6. Lee Hui Pin (F)
7. Angeline Premila Rajandaran (F)
8. Chong Yee Pheng (F)
9. Azrina Yakob (F)

Passengers:

1. Foo Ming Lee (M)
2. Karamjit Singh Karnail Singh (M)
3. Ng Qing Zheng (M)
4. Mabel Anthony Samy (F)
5. Paul Rajasingam / Sivagnanam (M)
6. Elisabeth Ng Lyeti (F)
7. Ariza Ghazalee (F)
8. Muhammad Afif Tambi (M)
9. Noor Rahimmah Mohd Nor (F)
10. Mohd Ali Md Salim (M)
11. Hasni Hardi Parlan (M)

In Memory of Aunty Ean Beng.

After being silent for a week, I am back.

I want to convey my deepest heartfelt condolences to Pastor Heok Cheow, Judson, Joyce and Jesher in the passing of Aunty Ean Beng.

One of my fondest memories with Aunty Ean Beng was back in the days when we would always hang out at Pastor's house, have dinner and just coffee. Aunty Ean Beng will always sit at the steps and we would always share Judson's embarrassing moments. I've known Jud since 10 years old? 

Wow, it's been 16 years huh. Crazy times.

We will always laugh at Judson because of the things he did last time. I guess that made me talk to Aunty Ean Beng more. Knowing her more than just a Pastor's wife.

Once, she saw that I was taking some cili padi on the table and she asked if I love having them in my meals. I told her that it wasn't only me, both my parents are also crazy over it. Since then, everytime her cili padi plant had its products, she would always give them to us in a small see through container. 

Oh! Not to mention how delicious her homemade peanut butter is! 

Also, the day when we visited her at the hospital, she remembered everyone's names and what they do and stuff. On the way home, Koay told me that he was very shocked to see that Aunty Ean Beng remembered him. Someone who doesn't see her often at all. Maybe a few times only. 

I miss you, Aunty Ean Beng. It's still very surreal that you have gone home. I know we have never say this to you but we love you. My family loves and prays for you. We are glad that you are no longer suffering. Thank you for being the person you are. Your life have wowed so many people. Mine included. 

I don't know how it must have felt like to lose someone so close to you. I cannot and don't want to imagine. 

Judson walked to the coffin and as he lay the flower on top of it, his hand remained on the flower a while and I saw his lips moved.

"Bye Mom.."

This scene is engraved in my mind since. Everytime I think of it, my eyes get wet a little, like now..

I know they probably have heard "Be strong!" many many times. I wanted to say it but I guess it's not going to be that easy..

To Pastor Heok Cheow, Judson, Joyce and Jesher,

Know that we are praying for you everyday. For comfort, strength, peace and joy. Know that we love you and we will always be there anytime you need us. ANYTIME. 

Till I see you again, Aunty Ean Beng.

Cook What?

*last night at Tesco*

Koay: *thinking at a corner by himself* Okay! Saturday I'll cook breakfast. Western style.

Me: Har! Why suddenly?

Koay: Sajalah.. Okay, now what we need. Eggs.. Bacon.. Orange juice *grabs a bottle of Twister*

Me: *follows along* *whispers* Salmon..

Koay: *ignores me* Western breakfast got what some more? How to cook the egg? Okay, I'll just do omelette..

Me: What are you going to put in the omelette?

Koay: *looks at me for very long* Actually, a lot of things to put inside hor..

Me: Mmhmm..

Koay: Aiyaa.. So many things eh. No need to cook d lah. *looks at me for approval*

Me: YESS! I very lazy to cook and wash and stuff. Can we just go out eat? 

Both: HAHAHA.

We actually wanted to cook a nice romantic dinner tonight but gave up because lazy to prepare the stuff and cook. Then, he tried to do breakfast but we quickly agree that it's not going to happen. 

Good to know we have mutual understanding in this area. Hah.

Goodbye, Ah Pui.

From the time I was born till I enter Primary 1, my grandmother (mom's mom) took care of me and two boys. She was a full time nanny to us three. Two boys and a girl. The two boys are younger by one year I think, I can't really remember. 

We parted ways at the age of 7 to different schools and have never spoken to each other since. I don't remember how they looked like anymore. Actually I still can lah, just a little.

Growing up with those two boys have always been a very big part of my life. Those years meant a lot to me but somehow I've never talked about it to anyone, until recently. 

As kids, we don't really remember things that happened, but for me, time spent with them were one of the memories that are still crystal clear. I didn't realized that this child-friendship have such a strong place inside until I got the news about one of the boys.

I named them Ah Pui and Ah San. Obviously because of how they were at that time. Hah. 

On Sunday, Ah Pui's parents came to church. My mom recognized them and when I look at his mom, she did look familiar. When Rachel came to me and told me about it, I was shocked and happy. 

I was going to ask, 'Where's Ah Pui?" when she continued telling me that a while ago, Ah Pui committed suicide because of depression.

I was shocked. Shocked beyond words. 

Something in me snapped. It took me a good 5 minutes to let that sink in and when it finally did, tears came down. I tried controlling but there is no stopping to it. It broke my heart to hear this. It's really difficult.

I thought that I will not be that affected since it has been 20 years of no speaking/seeing each other, but wrong. 

I stood there and I let those tears rolled down freely. I knew crying will make me feel better. I need to know more about his death but I was told not to ask his parents because they are still having a really hard time accepting that. I need to know where he was buried. I need to know when it happened. I need to know how he looked like now. I need to know if we ever crossed each other's path somewhere along the line. I need to know.

Ah Pui has always been the noisiest, craziest and funniest among us three. He's always the one with all the crazy suggestions, only to get us into trouble. We always get into trouble, but my grandpa will always be the superhero and stop my grandma from scolding us. 

Oh and Ah Pui taught me how to do handstand. Actually, both of them were probably the reason I'm so not feminine now. Haha. Who knows. 

It's funny but it made me miss childhood so much that I'm determined to find Ah San. My only one left. 

I regretted that I didn't make any effort to find both of them despite speaking about them almost every year during family occasions. 

This is actually very difficult to put into words. I just wanted to blog about it because this is important. 

Holding back tears as I type this. 

I'm not very good at accepting death. I think that it's one of the hardest thing that anyone has to go through. Especially those who are close to your heart. 

Who knew that Ah Pui and Ah San still have that special place in me after two decades? Who knew.. I don't even know if they remembered growing up with a girl.. I hope they do. 

This is goodbye, Ah Pui. 

A difficult goodbye. 

You are loved and will always be missed. 

Always.

Padan Muka I.

This is first time ever going through such thing.

Having my car towed away. 

The best part? 

I didn't even know it was gone. Only until my friend and a stranger came and told me.

In 2013, I've got two love letters. One in January and the other one in April. So, having my car towed away by the MPPP was quite a huge thing.

When I found out, I didn't know how to react. The first question popped in my head was, "Where to claim back my car?" Then only, "How much the penalty wei?"

Such a laugh-able moment. 

Yes, I've parked at a yellow line area at a lorong. It's the place where I park everyday from Monday to Friday. However, someone decided to complain to the MPPP and they bring the tow car machine thingy.

Apparently, when they were there, they sounded the siren and those cars that were not supposed to be there moved and I was the only one who didn't move my car. THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T HEAR ANY SIREN! My colleagues all also didn't hear anything.

Supposedly if MPPP notices that your car is going against the rule, they will clamp it for 4 hours. After 4 hours still never move your car then they will tow it already. Not if someone make a complaint. 

My friend told me that there were so many people on the road looking while my car was being towed away.

I called my dad and we went to Lebuh McNair (seventh street) to pay the fine and get back the car.

It was then only they told us that someone lodges a complaint and they had to tow it away. The officer asked me why I never go move my car. Obviously I didn't hear the siren lah!

I was supposed to pay RM300 but they gave me 50% discount. When everything was settled, the officer said sorry to me. I was like, "U tak payah sorry to me lah. Not your fault pun!" 

We exchanged smiles and I said thank you to him again. 

It was a lesson for me to learn. A very expensive one, but it could have been worse. If it's police love letter, it could cost me RM300 with NO DISCOUNT. 

So, I am grateful that this happened. Afterall, who ask me to park along yellow line. Who? Haha.

Thank You Jesus.