Computer Games.

I used to play Left 4 Dead once or twice weekly with a group of geeks many many years ago. I'm not going to blow my own trumpet and say that I was good at it because I believe I wasn't. Probably for a girl's standard, also not good.

Friendly fire, check. 

Always solo either in the front or back, check.

Honestly, I enjoyed becoming the Infected more than the other. Not much pressure. That I think I do well. BOOOMERRRR!

You know some games after playing so often for such a long time, soon you will be bored of it or in some cases, people never get bored of it like Dota. I've known of people who's been playing Dota since high school time till now when they are already a doctor and working, all also still super active in it.

Anyways, for me, after playing so often once upon a time, I stopped for so many years. I actually never intend to let the 'hobby' come back. 

Then, one Sunday just randomly someone suggested and the next thing I know, we were sitting in front of each other, ready to re-live that moment.

IT FELT GREAT!

As usual, I did quite badly and I got nauseous after that. After all these years, tak boleh main dah.

We played L4D for a while then we played Counter Strike to which I hated so much for the first ten rounds because I always get killed 10 seconds into the game and I didn't get to kill anyone.

Once I started killing the first person, the gungho feeling came and I was on fire! Okay, not really. I still did quite a noob job in it but at least I killed more people after that so it was good.

We stayed in Netcity for a good 2 hours plus. 

Good fellowship time with them peeps :)

The Big G.

It's been like what, 2-3 years since my batch graduated?

I started working after I finished college, just as a part timer at Dream Catcher Consulting. I was a part timer because there wasn't any vacancy for full timer, so I chose to just be a part timer while waiting for an available slot to open up. 

All that before I had my graduation ceremony, before I receive the scroll on stage. 

It was one of the most memorable day on my graduation day. It matters big time. What was missing was my grandfather being there to witness my scroll receiving, but it's okay because my grandmother was there. 

It was an emotional event because a part of me knew that this graduation ceremony also means that now we can go our separate ways officially. Chances of not meeting up often is sky high. That saddens me somehow.

I've always loved the life I had during my college years. So, when graduation happened, it was bye-bye to everyone and we then move on to another phase of life.

Change, the only constant thing in the world, right? 

But this kind of change freaks me. People leaving, people changing.. All that sucks all my happiness away. 

I'd like to think of myself as someone who embraces change quite easily. I don't mind changing my phone's wallpaper, change my hairstyle suddenly, the way I do certain things.. I don't. In fact, change sometimes makes me happy. 

But this kind of change is a total opposite of how I would normally love to have. I don't like to have LDR with my friends. I don't like the fact that now we are grown up and out of college, we have our own life now.

I hate it.

Anyways, thankfully we still managed to hang out once in a while, just catching up each other's life. Most of the time, we tend to talk about our jobs and money and that's just so normal because people grow up. Heh. 



I don't even want 2015 to happen because I know more of this kind of change will happen, and my life will once again hit the 'reset' button. I hate it.

But yeah, it's times like tho that I truly appreciate. 

Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS NIKKI! You're now an adult! Welcome to the working world, where everything is a lot more fun except for the part when you have to wake up at 8am every morning! Heh.

Cherish your school/college years because those are the times where you will make the most memorable memories, as long as you allow them to be made :)

As for me, it's about time to finally face my reality. Or maybe I'll just forever stay at 22. That works fine for me :)

Heh.

In Memory of Aunty Ean Beng.

After being silent for a week, I am back.

I want to convey my deepest heartfelt condolences to Pastor Heok Cheow, Judson, Joyce and Jesher in the passing of Aunty Ean Beng.

One of my fondest memories with Aunty Ean Beng was back in the days when we would always hang out at Pastor's house, have dinner and just coffee. Aunty Ean Beng will always sit at the steps and we would always share Judson's embarrassing moments. I've known Jud since 10 years old? 

Wow, it's been 16 years huh. Crazy times.

We will always laugh at Judson because of the things he did last time. I guess that made me talk to Aunty Ean Beng more. Knowing her more than just a Pastor's wife.

Once, she saw that I was taking some cili padi on the table and she asked if I love having them in my meals. I told her that it wasn't only me, both my parents are also crazy over it. Since then, everytime her cili padi plant had its products, she would always give them to us in a small see through container. 

Oh! Not to mention how delicious her homemade peanut butter is! 

Also, the day when we visited her at the hospital, she remembered everyone's names and what they do and stuff. On the way home, Koay told me that he was very shocked to see that Aunty Ean Beng remembered him. Someone who doesn't see her often at all. Maybe a few times only. 

I miss you, Aunty Ean Beng. It's still very surreal that you have gone home. I know we have never say this to you but we love you. My family loves and prays for you. We are glad that you are no longer suffering. Thank you for being the person you are. Your life have wowed so many people. Mine included. 

I don't know how it must have felt like to lose someone so close to you. I cannot and don't want to imagine. 

Judson walked to the coffin and as he lay the flower on top of it, his hand remained on the flower a while and I saw his lips moved.

"Bye Mom.."

This scene is engraved in my mind since. Everytime I think of it, my eyes get wet a little, like now..

I know they probably have heard "Be strong!" many many times. I wanted to say it but I guess it's not going to be that easy..

To Pastor Heok Cheow, Judson, Joyce and Jesher,

Know that we are praying for you everyday. For comfort, strength, peace and joy. Know that we love you and we will always be there anytime you need us. ANYTIME. 

Till I see you again, Aunty Ean Beng.

Just Look at Sharon.

Goodbye, Ah Pui.

From the time I was born till I enter Primary 1, my grandmother (mom's mom) took care of me and two boys. She was a full time nanny to us three. Two boys and a girl. The two boys are younger by one year I think, I can't really remember. 

We parted ways at the age of 7 to different schools and have never spoken to each other since. I don't remember how they looked like anymore. Actually I still can lah, just a little.

Growing up with those two boys have always been a very big part of my life. Those years meant a lot to me but somehow I've never talked about it to anyone, until recently. 

As kids, we don't really remember things that happened, but for me, time spent with them were one of the memories that are still crystal clear. I didn't realized that this child-friendship have such a strong place inside until I got the news about one of the boys.

I named them Ah Pui and Ah San. Obviously because of how they were at that time. Hah. 

On Sunday, Ah Pui's parents came to church. My mom recognized them and when I look at his mom, she did look familiar. When Rachel came to me and told me about it, I was shocked and happy. 

I was going to ask, 'Where's Ah Pui?" when she continued telling me that a while ago, Ah Pui committed suicide because of depression.

I was shocked. Shocked beyond words. 

Something in me snapped. It took me a good 5 minutes to let that sink in and when it finally did, tears came down. I tried controlling but there is no stopping to it. It broke my heart to hear this. It's really difficult.

I thought that I will not be that affected since it has been 20 years of no speaking/seeing each other, but wrong. 

I stood there and I let those tears rolled down freely. I knew crying will make me feel better. I need to know more about his death but I was told not to ask his parents because they are still having a really hard time accepting that. I need to know where he was buried. I need to know when it happened. I need to know how he looked like now. I need to know if we ever crossed each other's path somewhere along the line. I need to know.

Ah Pui has always been the noisiest, craziest and funniest among us three. He's always the one with all the crazy suggestions, only to get us into trouble. We always get into trouble, but my grandpa will always be the superhero and stop my grandma from scolding us. 

Oh and Ah Pui taught me how to do handstand. Actually, both of them were probably the reason I'm so not feminine now. Haha. Who knows. 

It's funny but it made me miss childhood so much that I'm determined to find Ah San. My only one left. 

I regretted that I didn't make any effort to find both of them despite speaking about them almost every year during family occasions. 

This is actually very difficult to put into words. I just wanted to blog about it because this is important. 

Holding back tears as I type this. 

I'm not very good at accepting death. I think that it's one of the hardest thing that anyone has to go through. Especially those who are close to your heart. 

Who knew that Ah Pui and Ah San still have that special place in me after two decades? Who knew.. I don't even know if they remembered growing up with a girl.. I hope they do. 

This is goodbye, Ah Pui. 

A difficult goodbye. 

You are loved and will always be missed. 

Always.

Public Holiday Best Gilerr.

*dances around while humming a random song*

Just because it's a Public Holiday tomorrow. 

Public Holiday usually means roadtrip or doing fun things with a lot of people or with just the two of us. But usually, spend holidays with a bunch of people a lot nicer, don't know why.

Oh! And also can sleep until the sun comes up. No need to set alarm clock.

I think that moment when you turn off the alarm clock in your phone is probably one of the best feeling. Serious.

Then again, tomorrow still have to set alarm clock because got breakfast session with all the relatives before our Annual Family Badminton 2014 kickoff. 

After that, it's Bowling Competition with Koay's side of the family. I think it's going to be Girls vs Boys. Hmm.. 

Such an eventful day tomorrow. What is rest guys?

I'm quite excited lah actually. Confirm lose d since my team all can't really play eh, although Koay is our team captain. I myself play like what only. Haha.

Oh wellz.

Thank God it's Labour Day tomorrow! 

Last year's Labor Day quite happening also actually. I'm totally enjoying to the fullest this day that is created for all those who works. 

Friends No?

One thing I never expect at this point of life. Quarter life crisis also over long time ago d. Hah.

Both my sister and I. 

We have never done any wrongdoings to anyone. In fact, we cherish all the friendships that we have gained over the years.

It made both of us sit down and think back if we have done anything, just anything that could bring us to this point.

We all used to get along so well. We laughed, we joked, we teased, we ate and we worked together for a period of time. We enjoyed ourselves so much that I always look forward to go work everyday.

Even after I stopped working there, we somehow managed to always remain friends whom are pretty comfortable with each other.At least for me that is.

Then, you changed? Both of you.. 

What happened? Seriously?

It even broke me one night when I thought about it. A part in me is angry but most parts were just hurt and a bit broken. There goes another friendship. Or maybe two. 

The way you talk to me became so formal. Even when I ignored that formality and insist talking to you like how a friend will, you still kept it formal. 

Then another you. You completely stop talking to me. I noticed that and I kept getting myself go up to you to start a conversation and you just turn your back on me, literally. Whattt? We even went on a holiday together once and totally enjoyed our time. You won't even look at me or smile or just anything!

Sorry if I sound like an obsessive-emotional person/friend or whatever you all wanna call it.

We also thought that me being a part of the Korea trip would be like good news to you both since we get to have fun and party all night together. Wrong. It was probably the reason that you hated us both now. 

Okay, maybe hate is a very strong word, but that is really what I feel now from you two.

I don't know if I sounded like so emo with this post but I just had to let it out somewhere and that somewhere has got to be here.

I don't know if you are reading this, but if you really are, do know that there isn't anything that I would do ever to put this friendship into a mess.

I don't even know how and why and what happened! 

So, I'm going to stop doing it, because it's heart-breaking. I will stop starting conversations so that I won't get rejected in the face again and again. But if I see you both of the road or in the malls, I will wave at you and I will smile. I will.

Till then, my two lovely friends. 

I am closing this chapter.

The Only One.

As you can see or read in the previous post on the "MARATHON" that both Koay and I did last Sunday, we did not take any photos at all. Got too busy trying to finish the race. Hah.

:)

Haters Gotta Hate.

You probably already expected this post coming for those of you who saw my latest Instagram photo and its caption.

But then again, come to think about it, I think I'm not going to talk about is so much though I actually want to. Haha.

Just two people posting hate-notes. I say hate-notes because the way they commented feels like we have stepped on their feet or something. I mean, it is our honest opinion. And I still do think the soya bean is super overrated and expensive (although it's only RM0.90 per bowl/glass) because they serve in such a small amount. So yeah. My rating is very low because it isn't that good as how people are worshipping it. Heh. Oh wellz.

It's very nice to receive encouraging notes from friends. It is my first time receiving this kind of response, but since we re doing this for fun, I'm going to learn to receive them and not allowing it to affect me in that way. Yes, I am expecting more mean comments coming.

I say until as if I celebrity or something. JOKER LA ME.

Anyways, I am sooooo glad that it's Friday already! It has been crazy week and now crazy week has got to leave.

Two more weeks to short holiday again. Ahhh! I need vacation, whether long or short EVERY MONTH!

Okaylah, I think I just made it a must to travel for holidays at least once a month!

YESLAAA!

My Public-Holiday Tuesday.

Let's start from the night before since Monday night was the start of the holiday mode. 

Barbeque by the beach was happening at around 6.30pm and after setting up almost everything and finally get some stuff cooking, it started to pour like no one's business. Run for our lives to a landed property/home-schooled house. We ended up cooking all the raw stuff with oven and gas. Stir fry, deep fry, grill, baked. You named it. We prolly did it. 

It's times like these that makes people remember of the night, although I would still prefer if we could have spent the entire night by the salt water. Oh wellz. 

So, Monday night was pretty fun, wet, messy and filled with lots of laughter.

Tuesday!

Woke up near lunch time. BOY THAT FEELS SOOO GOOD!

We helped our friends from KDU College to do some "Need or Need Not" video. Let me tell you something. Acting is not tough. Acting is VERYYYY tough! I don't know how the pros do it but for me, it sure felt like torture to turn myself into another mode, which in this case was an angry annoyed mom shouting at her daughter for being annoyingly noisy and stuff. Yeah, scolding loudly in the public. Hence, the video's theme, "Need or Need Not"

After that, we went all touristy to The History Museum. Photos are all in random orders. Then, went for some coffee chocolate iced cube milk and japonaise cake. Got back home and managed to close our eyes for a good 30 minutes, then off we went to the other side of the island for dinner! Last minute movie since we don't know what else to do in the mall.

Such a long drive home and got so tired that I almost didn't want to bathe before I jumped onto my bed. Of course I bathed in the end! 

Waking up this morning was err..

Oh well, few more days to the weekend again. Still got 2 days before this person re-adjust the working mode :)

idonotlikethoseblurryphotosbutwhattodo.

Sunday Funday.

Such a long "weekend" it has been.  Sort of. It's like holiday got extended or something. Not that I'm complaining or anything. 

Loving my Sunday so far :)

It has gotta be the weirdest/awkwardest place to swim or take a dip and try to relax. There were like shoppers looking over to our place and staring as we continue to "try" to relax and zone out. Hahaha. But overall, the place very windy and the water was pretty warm. SUPER NICE.

Of course after that we went to Bangkok Lane and wallop away :)

I hope no Monday blues tomorrow..

30 minutes to Khoo's Bowling Competition :)

Panaroma Week.

Monday blue so what?

Blogging always helps it become better.

So, this week I have been so obsessed with taking panaroma photos I have no idea why. Just some of the usual activities over the weekend every now and then. Sometimes, it feels like my weekends make me more tired than the usual working weekdays.

Oh wellz.

Sabrina Is One Year Old.

Guess who got the special invitation to a lil girl's special first?

Guess who gotta wear pink?

Me!

Now, I'm guessing most of the people know that pink is not my color. Far from it actually. I hated pink all these years but it actually got better as I age. Sad news. I don't hate it as much as I did before. So yeah, for this birthday party, all the ladies are required to wear pink or at least have something pink on them. I do not have no pink top or pants. Actually I do have one, but it's too tight. If I have wore them, I would be like "walking bakchang".

When we got there, most if not everything was in pink. Pink balloons, pink cookies, pink jelly. pink sweets. pink everything. Good thing I was not too disturbed by all that color. My attention was pretty focused that evening. Babies. Lots and lots of adorable-i-want-to-bite-them-babies! First one that I carried was baby Lucas! Oh my goodness. I have never seen such a baby who smiles so easily. All I did was look at him and call his name, and a smile killed me instantly. Baby Lucas is toooooooo charming! You can see him in one of my Insta photo.

Sha Lynn was sleeping for the first half and hour, while the rest of the adults chit-chatted and kids running around playing with balloons. Oh oh and we had Thai Food for dinner! Yums. No tomyam though but still quite nice :) We left after they sang birthday song because lil girl was getting a bit restless and sleepy. That's why never get to try the Minnie Mouse's cupcakes. Pink cupcakes if you realized. Hahaha.

Photos are placed in random orders and taken from the two Tan boys. Joshua Tan and Leroy Tan and Jay (Lucas's daddy) and Damien (birthday girls's daddy).

 

That night was also the first night Sha Lynn sat so quietly in the car seat and enjoyed herself the whole way :) Can't wait to see her crawl, walk and talk.

Rode The Night Away.

Monday is here again. Waking up this morning was a lil harder than usual. Snoozed the alarm three times before I actually forced myself to get to the bathroom. It just seemed like the 7 hours of snoozing is not enough. Feeling a lil more tired compared to other weekends. Hopefully the boy hasn't passed his virus to me, and praying hard this body system is stronger to fight back those things.

So yeah. The weekends that flew all of us by. Quite a fun packed weekend I must say.

We went cycling around town at night, after trying to get the bicycle for close to an hour. I think we spent more time getting there, finding a carpark and renting 6 not very safely-functioning-bicycles. We went to few touristy spots and took some photos. RM15 for 24 hours. That's pretty okay if we actually used them for more than 2 hours. Will I rent and go for night cycling again? Definitely not. Unless I don't have to pay for the rent la. But, overall, it was a fun night :)

And then, I decided to go for a haircut on Saturday. A HUGE transformation that I have been waiting for one week. Supposed to get them done a week ago but had to reschedule that due to a family photoshoot. A year ago, I did exactly the same thing. That random and spontaneous feeling. Gotta do what I gotta do. Haha.

Sunday was pretty alright. Koay's family came to church for the second time :) We went to see the photos that we all did last week as a whole family :)

For now, please stay indoor as long as you can. Jerebu sudah datang ke pulau ini. And drink lots of water people. Stay safe and stay strong! :)