Our Covid-19 Story.

Writing this and uploading them takes a longer time than I had planned, because well you may have guessed it, it was a long "battle" with Miss Rona. But here goes. 

It was the sixth day of Chinese New Year. What an eventful day. 

We (Adrian and I) experienced what felt like a hundred emotions all packed into one mind, body, and soul. I cannot find words to describe it. I also cannot speak for Adrian, because only he knows what was going on in his head - definitely too much was going on, I believe. Heh. 

As the title says it, you have guessed it right.

It all started when Sofia started having a fever at about 5:30pm on Sunday. She had just woken up from her 2-hours noon nap with Alex and they were both in extremely good moods - which was quite rare. 

They looked for food (snacks) but we fed them with chicken and eggs and yes, some CNY snacks after that. They played a while, and then I realized Sofia was slowing down and she went to get her pillow and pacifier - which was odd because usually when she is playing (and snacking), she will not just go get her pillow and pacifier. 

Anyways, she then walked up to me and wanted to sit on my lap. I carried her and when she lay her entire body on me, that was when I felt her body heat. It was hot. She was hot. I quickly got up and fed her with Uphamol and put on a fever patch on her forehead and carried her on the couch. 

She continued to rest on me, and after 30 minutes, I realized that she was not cooling down, so we got 2 small towels, wet them, and put them on her back and neck. Then, we prayed and I sat next to her for about an hour. She fell asleep, and I had the gut feeling that I needed to do the RTK test. 

So, I did.

 

The first test, it was negative, but I looked at it before the 15 minutes were up so I was not sure if it was accurate. I left the room and came back and saw the second line, although faint it was there. But I was pretty sure that the kit was left there for more than 20 minutes, so that could be an invalid result. 

I took the test again (thankful that we got like 9 boxes in the house hah) and put on a 15-minutes timer and kuai-kuai waited. True enough, the second line appeared, very faintly. This time, I called Adrian into the room and he was like, "Where got the second line!" 

I was like, "It's right there! Very light but can see it"

Now, with my experiences of doing the pregnancy test kits, I know for a fact that a faint line usually (most of the time) means it is positive liau. I was sure that my second RTK test was positive. Adrian was very hesitant, so I took another test - just to be sure. True enough, the faint line appeared. 

To cut the story short, we reached out to some friends and registered with BP Georgetown to get the PCR test done the next day. 

It was 9pm when we decided to do the PCR test, but we have to wait till the next day so no choice. We all wore masks at home and explained to the kids that they also have to wear masks, and surprisingly they were okay with it. Phew. 

BP Georgetown only opens from 11AM-1PM for those who want to do the PCR tests. We got there at about 10:45AM, and already we were behind about 50 people. We could tell that some of them were there to take the PCR tests for traveling purposes. 

We were waiting in line till there were about 25 people left in front of us when Adrian's friend called him and told him that we can go straight inside because we have kids with us. So, we didn't have to wait in line. And we did. We went inside and within 15-minutes, we were done with the PCR tests. 

Adrian went first, then me, then Alex, and then Sofia. The kids cried of course. In all honesty, I was more afraid of the PCR test than the Covid virus itself (in the beginning). Now that we went through the PCR test, it isn't that bad. Not that scary after all. But I accidentally grabbed the person's wrist when she was swabbing my throat. I apologized like ten times I think. I felt bad. Dahlah I high risk. I AM SORRY (AGAIN)!

So, we went home and waited. And at about 5AM, Adrian received a message on WhatsApp and asked me to check mine. We both didn't sleep well that night because of the constant worry and all. It's a lot. 

I opened my PDF file, and it says, "Detected". Ugh. 

Thankfully, the kids and Adrian's report came back, "Not Detected". So that was a big relief for us. We called our parents and they came and picked the kids up. I was immediately isolated in my own room. 

At this point, I became very afraid. I know where my thoughts can go, and the moment when I saw Alex and Sofia walking out of the house, the first thought was, "Is this going to be the last time I get to see them?". 

I had questions replaying in my head that are destructive but I didn't stop it. I even wanted to record videos for Alex and Sofia in case I could not make it. In case I die. It was a scary thought process, and it was making me more miserable than I already was. 

In my head, I was planning to take videos dedicated to everyone that matters to me, and for Alex and Sofia, many videos for every year that they grow older that I don't get to be with them. 

I didn't sleep well that night. Other than the fact that I was having crazy body-ache (felt like I have bruises all over me), and headaches that were just so crazy, I was worried to the max. 

I woke up the next morning (I think it was just day 2 of my quarantine) and decided that I have to stop these thoughts. These are not from God. I will live, and I will pull through this. 

So, I started thinking of what are the things that I want to do after this whole thing is over and what I want to eat and all. Hah. 

I lost some sense of my taste and smell, so eating was not fun. Most (if not all) foods that I eat will end up having this weird bitter taste before I swallow them, so it was hard. But I needed to eat so I can continue taking panadol and have some energy. I also lost a few kgs throughout the quarantine period. I was at 50kg, and now I weighed about 48.5kg. Not a lot but I felt the difference. 

Let me tell you this. When you are in the same room 24/7 for so many days, it is so easy to sloth around. On the second day, I slept most of the time, because of the headache and I hated it. I wanted to get up to work but I could not. My body just won't let me. 

I think one of the hardest things during this quarantine is the fact that I was away from Adrian and the kids. Adrian was in the same house with me, but he was not allowed to come inside my room or speak with me for more than 10-seconds face to face and it was really hard. I mean, like a hug would mean the whole world and make me feel better but nope, we cannot have that. 

Then, I had to watch Alex and Sofia through a screen - doing their daily things and that was unbelievably hard. Being away for 2 days is fine, but 7-10 days? That was crazy hard. I lost count of the number of times I broke down after each call I have with them. 

I don't even want to have long uninterrupted showers or sleeps anymore. I want them, and I want them with me. But there is absolutely nothing I can do because my focus then was to heal and recover so we can all be reunited again. 

The truth is, battling Covid-19 is not just physical. It is a lot on the mental. Many hours during my quarantine period, I failed mentally. I climbed onto my bed, hide under my blanket and mentally just fail. And because of that, I could not do anything. It was hard. Getting out of that paralyzing mental state is crazy hard. 

Every day is a battle between my mind and my mind. Of course, there were days when physically, I needed to lie down on my bed most of the time because of the headaches and blocked nose and all. Whenever my mind wanders to the negative thoughts, I would switch on my Spotify and put on Christian songs and just soak in them. Those songs are everything. 

So, on the last day of my isolation period, Adrian took me to Lam Wah Ee Hospital to get an x-ray done on my lungs. The reason for that trip was because I was still feeling a rather strong sense of breathlessness on my chest and I was not breathing normally. I was scared that I had to be admitted to the hospital and rely on those oxygen things, so I requested that we go get it done right away. I just needed to know if coronavirus got damaged my lungs or not. Heh. 

The result came back all clear but I was given 1-week of mc to rest and recover. It is a post-covid thing and it will take time. We spent another night (after the end of my isolation period) away from the kids to sanitize the room and house and when we were reunited the next morning, it was everything and more. 

I literally felt life coming back into my body. So please do not separate us, ever again. It was pure torture. 

I love my children so much I think I will burst. Heh.

So after like a week, my dad and sister joined the covid club heh. My mom tested negative every day despite being in the same house (room at one point) for a week. 

I worked from home to take care of my two kids during that week, and as we were getting excited to go back to grandparents' place and me to go back office, Adrian pulak tested positive. We suspected that he got the rona from one of his football games. 

So, guess what?

The quarantine life continues and now, all four of us had to be quarantined at home. My MIL flew to KL that very same day when Adrian's test kit showed two lines. Heh. 

It was really difficult to juggle work and making sure the two toddlers stay alive because I was not only juggling my work,  I also had to make sure that the kids do not disturb Adrian when he is at work, which is so so difficult. The kids just want to play with him every time they see him at the table. It was cute but difficult. 

We didn't separate the kids and Adrian, because we finally realized that they should also brave it through together. Sofia was already positive when Adrian was positive, so we just allow Alex to get them too, but he was tested negative day after day. Alex had a fever and some coughing too, but RTK won't show it. 

This is a really unpopular opinion, but we (Adrian and I) think that if someone from the same household is tested positive for Covid, then the rest of the people who live in the same home should also just get it and quarantine and recover together. Of course, if you have high-risk people in the house, then this does not apply to you. 

For us, this is like a 'sooner or later' kind of thing. A lot like chickenpox. And with us, we had to do a total of one 1-month of home quarantine (sort of) because we thought we could avoid getting it. Wrong. It's everywhere now, and it is better to get it as a family, than to 'take turns' and all. Again, many people do not agree with this. Neither did I, until we went through it, and we realized that we should just all get it at the same time. Heh. 

So yeah, I can now safely say that my entire Khoo Family has gotten it except my mom, Sha Lynn, and Alex - although they were all exposed to it when the rest of us were at it. These 3 strong fellows. Heh. 

What a pandemic story this is. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Sofia Turned Two!

I remembered vividly when she was latching onto me in the middle of many nights in the span of that 6-months, I had silently wished that she would grow quicker so that she can start to sleep through the night and no need for few-hours-feeding time. I regretted that now. At that time, I was sleep-deprived, but now I miss it. 

I miss her being a baby and so dependent on us then. But I also like that she is independent now. I CAN NEVER WIN WAN SERIOUSLY! Everything also I want. Hah. 

But yeah, we celebrated Sofia turning two last week and I got all mushy inside because I realized how fast time can fly us by, and now I miss her. 

She is still a baby (for us), and it has been such a journey watching her grow. Her personality is so different than Alex's and she is such a drama queen, please. She surprises us every day with her patterns and guess what. We have not been really able to "discipline" her for the past 2 years because she just has her ways of turning our frowns the other way. 

It was quite a tough decision when I was planning for a "small" party - whether to have it or not. I obviously decided to go for it and invited family and close friends only. For Adrian, he would probably prefer to have like just us. But he lets me decide on this so, a party it is. Hah. 

Choosing the venue was a tough one. It was the toughest for me. It took a long time. I wanted a space that is only for us, some sort like a private room in a restaurant but must be large enough to cater to our guests and not feel like we are sardined together. I also did not want to spend a lot of money "renting" the space and cater food separately. I wanted a place where I can do both together, safely with SOP in place. I wouldn't want abang polis come visit. Heh.

I had many suggestions but they were all above Adrian's budget and I also did not have the excitement to go for it. It didn't feel like it is. 

So, no choice right? I went to Adrian and told him I needed his help. Hah. I told him he needs to help me with the venue. 

Within 10 minutes, he said, "How about McDonald's?" 

And then it clicked! I was like yes, yes, and yes. 

I did some research and made a few calls to both McD Greenlane and Birch House, and decided to go for Birch House, because:

• They will reserve the entire second floor for the party
• Walk-in customers are not allowed to go upstairs
• The second-floor space is huge and there are plenty of spaces for everyone to move around

Spend a minimum of RM500 and you can have the entire space for 3-hours - decorations included. Okay so much win, please. Their decorations include those small and big balloons that kids love. It's really impressive, to be honest. 

There are also 3 games included with this Party @ McD thing where the assigned staff will organize everything. We gau-gau added some games for the adults because the kids just need balloons and they will have fun already. 

We played musical chairs and charades and then we chit-chatted till it was time to go home. 

It was so good to be able to have this small gathering with each other, after being deprived for close to 2-years. I am thankful for each and everyone who came to celebrate with us. You guys are not only close to us (parents), but the fact that you are in Sofia's life is just a blessing really to Adrian and me. I always say this and I will say it again. Thank you (so much) for loving Sofia and Alex like they are your own. They are so blessed really. 

Also, special thanks to all our friends, and families, and Sofia's fans (strangers become friends) who wished us on social media and WhatsApp. I wished we could invite all of you but obviously cannot la right. I have received many messages about how little snippets of Sofia's video can make you smile, and really many times, I told myself that I got to try to post at least a video of her every day. 

She is our little influencer, for sure. 

So yes, thank you, thank you again for being a part of Sofia's journey. 

Here are some photos to remember this day. Thank you to those who helped us take these photos! So much love for you guys :) 

Big shout out to Sofia's daddy for being so supportive and agreeing to have this party. If you did not already know, Adrian has a very big soft spot for Sofia. And it is not like he loves her more than Alex. The dynamic that he has with Alex is so different than with Sofia, and both are equally so strong and magnetic. 

Surely, they both come to me when they need comfort. No wait, actually Sofia is starting to go to Adrian a lot now when she seeks comfort but the point is, the relationship, the bond, the connection that Adrian has with his daughter is such a magical, lovable, and unbreakable tie. I know in my heart, body, and soul that no matter what/who life brings, Sofia will always be Adrian's precious little one. It's just a little something that I cannot describe to you. It's an everyday interaction thing. It's how their faces light up when they see each other. Err, I don't think Adrian's face got ever so lighted up when he sees me also. Hah. But yeah. 

And Alex is not jealous of their closeness, because when Adrian is with Alex, it's another different set of dynamics. It's a father and son thing - a lot of teaching moments and Alex always seems to not listen to him, but deep inside, we can tell that Alex is always waiting for Adrian to play and spend time with him. It's a strong boys' bond thing. 

I do get jealous at times, not because I want Adrian to "sayang" me the same way he does with them. But I get jealous of their relationships because they are so magnetic to each other, in a very different way from me. But it's not like a bad jealous la. It's a good jealous (if there is such a thing heh). It's the kind that makes my ovaries burst ten million times and I want to have more kids kind. Hah. 

So yeah, thank you baby for being such a good supporter. Behind every happy wife, is a very supportive husband. So, thank you. Heh. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Alex is Three!

"Enjoy every moment because they will grow up so fast and you will miss it"

Someone said this to me when Alex was just born, and at that time, I find it hard to believe and accept that time will pass me by because it was so difficult being a mother for the first time to a colic baby. It was so challenging in every way. 

But now, I say it to new moms. Hah. 

Because they are so true. 

It feels like he turned three after I blinked my eyes ten times - so surreal because I still remember so clearly when he was born, and the struggles of breastfeeding him and him crying all night because of colic. 

Last year, we wanted to bring him to the zoo on his birthday but we were in our first lockdown, so we celebrated at home. This year, we obviously still want to bring him to a zoo, but we are also still in lockdown so we stayed home (where else can we go right?). 

Initially, the plan was to get him a really nice cake, order some of his favorite food and 'try' to allow him to do or eat anything he wants. 

The plan then changed to scheduling a Zoom call with family and friends, ordered a custom made cake that is affordable, some of his favorite foods ordered and paid for by our sisters (Adrian and mine), and I did allow him to almost everything he wanted to do and he ate whatever he wanted. 

I ordered the cake from Jasmine Cake House. I had no idea what kind of cake he wants so I went to Jasmine Cake House's FB and saved cake photos of which I think may interest Alex. Then, I showed him like 10 photos and he came back with this photo. I tried changing and convincing him to other cakes but he kept coming back to this one, so this one wins. 

We paid RM100 for the cake (including delivery to the house) so in my opinion, that is a pretty good price for a custom-made cake. The monster truck and remote control are not edible. 

We set the call to 6PM and we were struggling with the set-up because at first, we used Adrian's Huawei's laptop and realized that the webcam's angle is totally out and people won't be able to see us and the cake. So, we changed to my Mac and realized that I have not gotten the converter because of the need to connect the HDMI and we tried searching for ways to cast screen mirroring but how also need the HDMI cable. 

Then, we took Adrian's old laptop and after setting it up, we realized that the sound system was already kaput and what is a Zoom call if we cannot hear anyone. 

We then screen mirrored my iPhone but realized that we can only see 4 people on the screen. Problem I tell you. I wanted to go inside my room and hide under the blanket already at this point. 

So our only choice is to connect to the TV using Huawei's laptop and got creative in stacking up and arranging the laptop so the webcam can see all of us. Then, the sound would not come off the TV - so it was super soft and we could hardly hear anyone :( 

It was only after the whole sing birthday song thing that I suddenly realized that I needed to change the sound setting in the Zoom app! SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE. 

It was so hard to swallow this one because I always do it for my previous boss so how can I forget this time. Goodness me. 

There were more people who dialed in to be part of the birthday party, but when Eulene took this photo, many have left and I totally did not take any photos, please. And I was too busy trying to stop Sofia from finishing the entire cake heh. Also, apologies to those whom I forgot to send the link to - it was really a packed day for me, and Adrian had to work and all. 

Anyways, when it was time to sing the birthday song, Alex decided to not stand in front of his 'half'-eaten cake (by Sofia haha) and insist to sit on the sofa. 

I found out later that night that he wanted to sit on the sofa because he wanted to see everyone on the TV! I am guessing that he wanted to see everyone's face as we sing the birthday song for him! Oh, my heart. 

Although he didn't show it, I think Alex had a great time with everyone through Zoom - not our ideal way to celebrate but it's still something! I remembered feeling so happy and thankful when I was reflecting on it at night - feeling really blessed. 

THANK YOU ALL FOR LOVING ALEX. 

To my Alex boy, 

Happy Birthday and my constant prayer for you is that you will always find your strength in the Lord and your identity in Him. Never in us or the world. You are such a sensitive boy and that is okay. I know one day, you will be able to have more control over them. Now, you are just as confused as I may be at times. 

But remember that I love you, and you actually don't have to do anything more or less because I already love you so much. You also don't have to be like anyone for us to love you. 

Amazing how in one day, you can make me smile so hard and make me want to explode in frustration. You challenge me in ways I never knew is possible. And for that, I get to grow. I get to see things from another perspective. I get to be less self-centered. I get to be better. 

So, thank you for being my son. 

Thank you for loving me okay. 

Love you forever my little man. 

Till next time, bye now.