We got into the third trimester, and boy was it a tough entry. I was somewhat happy and glad because that means we are so much closer to holding our baby boy and no more to nausea things.
But we were greeted with the diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes Mellitus and I had to go on diet control - which isn't all that bad. I was already used to replacing my white rice with quinoa rice and I usually already don't take sweet drinks, so I can forgo the sugar.
Then, the dessert cravings happen, and all I want to put inside my mouth are cakes, donuts and brownies. All of which will kill me and the baby if I don't stay away. Haha. Drama kan? I am proud to say that I managed to resist the temptations for as long as I could - with occasional one bite here and there.
I also started to like eating rolled oats with Bovril and deep fried ikan bilis, so that's really another win in my book. My dad introduced this diet wan. Hah.
Then, there's some of those episodes where my back would hurt so much whenever I sit or stand, so the only thing I could do is to lie on my side for a while. Then, just repeat them many times. It was hard because I had to juggle doing that at work and it was just so distracting and troublesome.
Thinking that I just have to pull through the last 3 months with just controlling my food intake and tolerating with backaches, I was thankful. I was like, "Oh I can do this". Because with Alex, I also had GDM and we pulled through alright.
Wrong!
One day I woke up with some new blisters on my legs. Both sides. I thought it was odd, but didn't seem to need to go see a doctor to get it checked. Then, the next day, more water filled blisters and rashes came out on my arms, then the back, then the hands and last place was my belly area.
There were like those super uncontrollable itchy-blisters and rashes and I was going out of my mind - just trying to 'manage' the itch. I obviously could not manage the itch and was just out of it. I was easily triggered - by Adrian and the kids because I was struggling so badly.
We went to 2 gynaes (1 from GH and 1 from a private hospital) but they didn't take a second look at my rashes and concluded that they are pregnancy-related-rashes and will go away when baby comes out. They gave me some medications to 'control' the growth and itch, but to be honest they were not very effective.
I was still having so much issue with the itch and mentally, I was so out. I wanted to bring baby out like immediately okay! We are not even talking about being itchy on one place. We are talking about scratching the entire body. I was itchy on both my arms, my back, my belly and my legs! I was scratching so hard that I didn't even care when blood comes out of those blisters. I just wanted (and needed so badly) for the itch to go away.
I rather feel the pain than the itch. It was insane.
Adrian wanted to help so badly but there was nothing he could do, really. I could see him feeling defeated and helpless. I was also not able to help him not feel that because I was struggling myself.
On top of that, the daily things I do with and for the kids were also affected. I could not cuddle with them, wear clothes for them, be physically close to them and worse part is I had to tell them that they cannot touch me, because a single soft touch would trigger the itch. I was heartbroken.
And yes, there were many nights of tears and lots of praying.
I am thankful that my kids were understanding.
Alex came over to me one night while I was sitting by my bed (daydreaming) and said, "Mamy, everytime I hug you, your pain will go away okay? So, can I hug you?"
How could I say no?
I said yes, I agree with you. So he gave me an awkward hug - the kind where he try not to let his arms touch my skin so I won't be in pain. I held my tears back, but decided no matter what, I am going to hug my kids at least once a day - even if it has the risk of triggering the itch.
And we did just that.
Everytime after a hug, Alex would ask me if I am feeling better, and I would say yes. And he would go, "See mamy! I told you. Hugs will make things better wan!"
Things started getting better when a few of you suggested for me to go see a skin specialist, and I don't know why I never thought of it but we immediately did that weekend. We googled the nearest skin specialist that is still open and drove to the clinic at once.
I was so relieved after seeing Dr Chong from the MD Dermatology Skin Specialist Clinic. At first he was shocked to see the rashes on my body and was a bit surprised that both my gynaes did not refer me to any skin specialist.
His diagnosis is Pregnancy Eczema and yes, it will go away once baby comes out. He prescribed me with Dhasalone pills (yes they are steroids and yes it is safe to take in my third trimester of pregnancy) to stop the growing of the blisters and rashes, and then Fucicort cream (steroid cream).
Oh, and someone suggested Suu Balm Rapid Itch Relief Moisturizer and we got that and have been glued to it ever since!
With the medications and the Suu Balm Moisturizer, things started getting better. I was slowly becoming myself again. I was able to try enjoy carrying this baby again and on some nights, I got to hold Adrian's hand a while while we sleep. Yes, holding his hand gives me a certain kind of assurance that everything will be okay. It's weird and clingy but say what you want. Heh.
I am now not scratching desperately anymore, and can somewhat control scratching lightly.
Also thanks to social media and you guys, taking a cold shower apparently will help, and I have been taking many cold showers every few hours, or when I feel like the itchy-wave is about to come. I would stand under the cold water and let them run for a while on my body. It's life-changing.
I am okay with cold showers now. Hah. It's really very refreshing and it lets me take deep breaths which I think helps me handle the whole situation better, mentally.
As much as the physical side looks bad, I am aware that everyday is a battle in my mind. I had to remind myself constantly to remain thankful and remain knowing that God is watching over us and God is with me and I am safe, and he is safe. I still have bad days when I just want to give up (don't know give what up also) but just that feeling of feeling so defeated and just want it all to be over.
But the good days are more now so it's okay.
Thank you all for your encouraging and calming words, and for praying for me and baby. Please know that I truly appreciate all of them. I may not say it out or show it but I truly am.
Till next update, bye now.