Sofia Turned Two!

I remembered vividly when she was latching onto me in the middle of many nights in the span of that 6-months, I had silently wished that she would grow quicker so that she can start to sleep through the night and no need for few-hours-feeding time. I regretted that now. At that time, I was sleep-deprived, but now I miss it. 

I miss her being a baby and so dependent on us then. But I also like that she is independent now. I CAN NEVER WIN WAN SERIOUSLY! Everything also I want. Hah. 

But yeah, we celebrated Sofia turning two last week and I got all mushy inside because I realized how fast time can fly us by, and now I miss her. 

She is still a baby (for us), and it has been such a journey watching her grow. Her personality is so different than Alex's and she is such a drama queen, please. She surprises us every day with her patterns and guess what. We have not been really able to "discipline" her for the past 2 years because she just has her ways of turning our frowns the other way. 

It was quite a tough decision when I was planning for a "small" party - whether to have it or not. I obviously decided to go for it and invited family and close friends only. For Adrian, he would probably prefer to have like just us. But he lets me decide on this so, a party it is. Hah. 

Choosing the venue was a tough one. It was the toughest for me. It took a long time. I wanted a space that is only for us, some sort like a private room in a restaurant but must be large enough to cater to our guests and not feel like we are sardined together. I also did not want to spend a lot of money "renting" the space and cater food separately. I wanted a place where I can do both together, safely with SOP in place. I wouldn't want abang polis come visit. Heh.

I had many suggestions but they were all above Adrian's budget and I also did not have the excitement to go for it. It didn't feel like it is. 

So, no choice right? I went to Adrian and told him I needed his help. Hah. I told him he needs to help me with the venue. 

Within 10 minutes, he said, "How about McDonald's?" 

And then it clicked! I was like yes, yes, and yes. 

I did some research and made a few calls to both McD Greenlane and Birch House, and decided to go for Birch House, because:

• They will reserve the entire second floor for the party
• Walk-in customers are not allowed to go upstairs
• The second-floor space is huge and there are plenty of spaces for everyone to move around

Spend a minimum of RM500 and you can have the entire space for 3-hours - decorations included. Okay so much win, please. Their decorations include those small and big balloons that kids love. It's really impressive, to be honest. 

There are also 3 games included with this Party @ McD thing where the assigned staff will organize everything. We gau-gau added some games for the adults because the kids just need balloons and they will have fun already. 

We played musical chairs and charades and then we chit-chatted till it was time to go home. 

It was so good to be able to have this small gathering with each other, after being deprived for close to 2-years. I am thankful for each and everyone who came to celebrate with us. You guys are not only close to us (parents), but the fact that you are in Sofia's life is just a blessing really to Adrian and me. I always say this and I will say it again. Thank you (so much) for loving Sofia and Alex like they are your own. They are so blessed really. 

Also, special thanks to all our friends, and families, and Sofia's fans (strangers become friends) who wished us on social media and WhatsApp. I wished we could invite all of you but obviously cannot la right. I have received many messages about how little snippets of Sofia's video can make you smile, and really many times, I told myself that I got to try to post at least a video of her every day. 

She is our little influencer, for sure. 

So yes, thank you, thank you again for being a part of Sofia's journey. 

Here are some photos to remember this day. Thank you to those who helped us take these photos! So much love for you guys :) 

Big shout out to Sofia's daddy for being so supportive and agreeing to have this party. If you did not already know, Adrian has a very big soft spot for Sofia. And it is not like he loves her more than Alex. The dynamic that he has with Alex is so different than with Sofia, and both are equally so strong and magnetic. 

Surely, they both come to me when they need comfort. No wait, actually Sofia is starting to go to Adrian a lot now when she seeks comfort but the point is, the relationship, the bond, the connection that Adrian has with his daughter is such a magical, lovable, and unbreakable tie. I know in my heart, body, and soul that no matter what/who life brings, Sofia will always be Adrian's precious little one. It's just a little something that I cannot describe to you. It's an everyday interaction thing. It's how their faces light up when they see each other. Err, I don't think Adrian's face got ever so lighted up when he sees me also. Hah. But yeah. 

And Alex is not jealous of their closeness, because when Adrian is with Alex, it's another different set of dynamics. It's a father and son thing - a lot of teaching moments and Alex always seems to not listen to him, but deep inside, we can tell that Alex is always waiting for Adrian to play and spend time with him. It's a strong boys' bond thing. 

I do get jealous at times, not because I want Adrian to "sayang" me the same way he does with them. But I get jealous of their relationships because they are so magnetic to each other, in a very different way from me. But it's not like a bad jealous la. It's a good jealous (if there is such a thing heh). It's the kind that makes my ovaries burst ten million times and I want to have more kids kind. Hah. 

So yeah, thank you baby for being such a good supporter. Behind every happy wife, is a very supportive husband. So, thank you. Heh. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Outdoor Steamboat at Cheang Kee Restaurant, Tanjung Bungah!

Do you love eating steamboats and do you love dining outdoor?

If your answer is yes and yes, you need to dine at this Cheang Kee Restaurant! They used to be at Chulia Street, but they decided to move to this new place due to a high rental fee. I have not tried them when they were in Chulia Street so it was our first time trying them. 

My cousin found this place when she saw her friend's IG and we immediately booked for our staycation weekend. 

They are not fully done with the outdoor dining so it's best to go in the early evening when it is still bright and dry. We were there at 6pm and it was perfect, but sadly it started to rain so we had to move the tables indoors. 

Here is the menu that they sent us through WhatsApp a week prior to our dinner week, and we pre-ordered our meals. They have ala cartes and mini steamboat sets. 

I do think that it is better to make a reservation before heading there, as they may not have the outdoor settings for you, so yeah - call first. 

Their number: 017-411 5177

Their address: 551-L, Jalan Wee Hein Tze, 11200 Tanjung Bungah. 

They have different types of soup, but their top 2 best selling ones are the Premium Chicken Soup and Shaoxing Wine Chicken Soup. We ordered the Shaoxing one, and it was truly, so good! 

I thought that the price was quite expensive. My fish set of personal steamboat was RM32.90 with just 5 thin slices of fillets. What shocked us most was paying RM10.90 for a small glass of orange juice. Hah. 

But overall, I love the soup and the environment so I will go back again. Maybe next time I will try other food on their menu. 

But yes, such a nice find :) 

Till next makan, bye now!

Must Eat at Balik Pulau & It Is Not Laksa & Durian!

When people say Balik Pulau, the first few foods that come to mind are laksa and durian, and brown sugar pau. 

I always must have my lemak laksa at the Kim Seng Kopitiam, but that Saturday's spontaneous trip brought us all the way into the inner part of Balik Pulau, called Kampung Pantai Acheh. 

Yes, we have been living in Penang for like 30-years, and never have I ever been to Kampung Pantai Acheh. It is not that far from the Balik Pulau town. You can waze it and it will bring you there. 

Don't count on me to give you instructions on the directions there, because you may end up in a jungle. 

You must be like thinking about what triggered us to even know how to get into Kampung Pantai Acheh. Well, that brings us to a few years back when Covid-19 has not happened yet and Adrian and I were both enjoying our bowl of beef noodle soup along Carnavon Street when an elderly couple came and shared a table with us. 

We started talking, and before we know it, they were sharing their travel experiences with us. They lived in the mainland and would always make their way to Balik Pulau (more specifically Kampung Pantai Acheh) to eat fried oysters (oh-chien). But that was it. We didn't go and explore that part of Balik Pulau. 

Not till recently when we were there and we suddenly remembered about this local goodness! We were just looking for the fried oyster when we saw the roasted duck stall next to it and boy, they were looking fine - like finger-licking-fine. Hah. 

So, we ordered one of each and we devoured it in the car. And then we went to order some more to tapau back. 

And in the same Kopitiam, they also sell like seafood items - so we went back another time and tried all! HAHAHA.

FRIED OYSTER  (Oh Chien) - RM10

He says: Oh so good, so tasty! I like the chili sauce. 

She says: I could taste the oyster on my first bite and there wasn't any oyster in that bite. Super aromatic and need to enjoy it while it's hot. We had this in the car. It was perfect. 

ROASTED DUCK WITH SESAME SEEDS - RM46 (a whole duck)

He says: Best in the world!

She says: Crispy skin and tender juicy meat. So so so good! We bought it back for my grandma and she loves it so much she kept talking about it. And she is a real food critic, please. Heh. Really love this! 

This is the coffee shop where you can find the two goodies. I think if you love eating duck, you need to try this one. We are not big fan of duck meat, so we cannot really "judge" if it is really good, But as far as our tongue is, we definitely approved this duck. Hah. 

STEAMED MUSSELS - RM22

He says: Okay nia la. 

She says: Fresh mussels. Will love it more if it comes with some type of sauce. 

FISH HEAD WITH BITTER GOURD - RM20

He says: Okay nia pun.

She says: I am not a big fan of fish head but I am a big fan of bitter gourd, so this dish is quite a win. The sauce is very yummy and old-school. 

STIR-FRIED KAPAH WITH GINGER & GARLIC - RM15

He says: This is pretty good - fresh!

She says: Super fresh and super yummy. We love it so much we ordered it again to snack on after we finished eating everything okay. 

HOR KA SAI 

He says: Not as 'kau' as I thought it would be!

She says: Yummy!

FISH AND PRAWN PORRIDGE - RM15

He says: Not bad...

She says: If you are a fan of seafood and porridge, then this is a definite must-try! Both the fish fillets and prawns - fresh kau kau.

Their stalls are right next to each other, facing the road. I don't think you will miss them as you reach Kampung Pantai Acheh. We didn't explore anymore after eating all these! 

Was it worth the drive to go further into Balik Pulau? 

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT A DEFINITE YES. 

The duck stall is open only on the weekends (12pm-7pm) but the rest I think should be open on Thursday onwards - and all these stalls are in this LP Hoe Kopitiam okay! 

Go try them and let us know what you think okay! 

Till next makan, bye now! 

Is It Okay to Cuss?

Have you ever cussed before? If yes, when and where and why?

Growing up, I was taught that cussing is very bad and if any of us cussed or say any vulgar words - we would be punished. 

Now that I have grown up, things changed. Heh. Read on first before you start assuming things in your head. Hah. These are all my opinions only okay - so even if it is not a popular one and everyone disagrees with me, it is absolutely fine with me - just don't throw eggs at me hah. 

I still think that it is not okay to cuss - not out loud anyway. What are the intentions of using cuss words? What is the message that you want to convey by using the cuss words? To make your conversations more dramatic?

Now, I can testify that prior to becoming a mother, I have gotten very frustrated before (to the point of crying) and upset and whatsoever right, but nothing that was able to compare to the intensity of these same emotions after becoming a mother to two kids. 

The intensity of those frustrations is usually tripled and I find myself just want to cuss so I could feel better. Don't ask me why and how I got that "idea" that cussing could sort of help take some frustration away - because I don't have the answer to that. 

It's funny because it is not something I would usually do or want to do. So, it's a mystery for me too.

Anyways, at times when I needed to let out my frustration (could be caused by kids melting down for the lamest reason or they accidentally hurt me physically while doing something they were told not to do or spilling water all over the floor after I have just cleaned up the house or just upset with certain situations or people), I could not because the kids are with me and watching. 

So, I would run (okay maybe not run so dramatic but go) to my room, plant my face deep into a pillow, and shout really loud (but muffled) and long, "f***!!!!"

Of course, before doing that, I will make sure that the kids are not in the same room with me. 

Or sometimes I will go to the toilet (or anywhere with no one else around), and let out a whispered but firm frustrated cuss. And yes, I will feel much better after that - almost instantly. I don't know what is the magic behind it la, to be honest. I just know that it works and I will feel much better after that. 

Having said that, I realized that it was slowly becoming like a "habit" (I don't get that kind of intense frustration often okay please ah) and every time I had to let out a cuss, I felt bad. My mind would start thinking of other ways to "let off" an instant frustration but this seems to work the best. This means I will not end up screaming at my kids or intentionally starting an unnecessary argument with Adrian. 

And I finally came to a justification (for me) to be okay (and not feel bad) for needing to use the f*** word in silence. 

And that is, as long as my intention of cussing is not to hurt someone else, and not to cause anyone to stumble and no one is hearing it (except God I guess heh) - then it is okay. I always only do it in the secret anyways. 

For me, I will always ask myself if I want Alex and Sofia to cuss (at any point in their life) and my answer is absolute no. At least not with the intention to hurt someone or to stumble people around them. 

FYI - You don't appear 'cooler' if you normalize using the cuss words. You also don't appear 'screwed up' if you use them. I would like to think that it is something that people sort of adapt to when they surround themselves with people who say it out in the open and somehow it has become like a language in itself. Maybe can like do self-control wan la. You know like how people spend some time in western country then when they come back here, their accent still remains western-ish? Can turn off wan la right. Self-control ni ma heh. 

I have friends who cuss out loud in their conversations and I love them the same as my friends who do not. So, don't be passing judgments around.

It's like smoking I guess. It's a habit that is hard to break and it is addictive. Hello, sometimes when I get frustrated a little also, I will go somewhere quiet and alone and say, "f***!". So I totally understand how hard it is to break the "habit" and "addiction" especially when it is something that helps you feel better. 

This is where self-control comes in. 

There were many times when either Alex or Sofia would go crazy in the car and they would cry all the way home, and all I wanted to do is cuss. But I would bite my lips and I would take few deep breaths. 

Then, there were times Adrian would be working at the dining table and got frustrated with a certain situation, and he would walk into his 'gym room' and cuss (instead of saying it in front of us). Of course, sometimes I can still hear him because his whisper is not a whisper and his cuss words vocabulary is wider haha. In this kind of situation, I would talk really loud or sing to Alex and Sofia so they won't hear him. This is called teamwork la okay. Hah. 

This does not mean that we are screwed up. This means that we are humans and that we are trying. Adrian and I will always remind each other of our intentions whenever we do or say something - be it to each other, to our kids, or to other people. 

So, for me, I think it is fine for me to cuss into my pillow (when I need to) as long as no one else hears it and that is the main point. The last thing I want to do is to stumble people. 

Which then brings me to the next question - why then do I want to talk about it here? 

Well, because this is as real as it gets. 

Someone once asked in our group of friends if they think that I would ever use the "f***" word. Out of the 4 people, 1 answered yes. That was gazillion years ago and I disagreed with the 1 person. I told him that I would never. 

Look at me now, a mother with 2 kids and I do cuss sometimes (IN PRIVATE). Hah. So yeah, people will change so never say never. Heh.

Maybe you have a more effective way to let off your frustration and if that works for you, then really good! I guess as long as your 'way' is not by hurting someone else then that is fine. 

So yeah. I do that so I don't let off my steam by screaming at my kids or purposely saying mean things to my husband. It helps me. But I need to always be reminded not to be 'addicted' to it because before I know it, I may be saying it out loud. 

In summary, if you cuss with the intention to hurt people or/and people may be stumbled by it, then it is not okay. What is your intention then to use these cuss words? Is it necessary? And don't go around trying to hurt people with your words la - now pandemic and everyone is hurting in one way or another so be nice. Heh. 

Okay so in the summary of a summary, having kids is really good lah - they help you do self-check because everything that you don't want them to do or say, you will also not do or say. So, you get to improve yourself every time. 

The struggles are real, and I am glad that I finally found a method to make me a less-screaming-into-my-kids-ears and more-calm-down-respond-better person. 

I hope that from this rambling, you will be able to consciously find a way to channel your frustration and a way to let off your instant anger or something - without stumbling to others and hurting others of course. 

Till next time, bye now.

Was My Wisdom Tooth Removed Or No?

There is absolutely no pain like a toothache - okay maybe cannot be compared to childbirth pain but still, toothaches are the worse! 

I was struggling with pain in my left wisdom tooth for a week when I decided that I cannot endure it anymore. It has to go - or something needs to be done. 

I always thought that I have passed this wisdom tooth 'stage' because when they were growing out (which I don't exactly know when hah), they didn't cause any discomfort at all. 

This time, my gums were inflamed due to (I believe) food being stuck in that small valley between the normal tooth and the 'Cleopatra wisdom tooth. Heh. Cleopatra because the wisdom tooth was lying instead of standing like all usual teeth. 

Here is an x-ray being done before the dentist could advise on what to do. It was necessary because she (the dentist) needed to confirm if the affected wisdom tooth was in a "good" position for extraction. 

There it is - my set of straight teeth - thanks to 4-years of wearing braces (worth every money spent and pain endured!). Surely you can also see that my left and right tooth grew out to be very close to my teeth and there is a very small tiny gap in between. 

This is where food gets stuck and I have absolutely no way to get them out. So, the ideal way is to extract my wisdom tooth (left side first since the right side doesn't cause any problem - yet). 

The dentist then explained to me that this 2D x-ray cannot really show us if the wisdom tooth is touching (or protruding) the inferior alveolar nerve or lingual nerve. And if it is very near to the nerve, then the extraction procedure itself could cause damage to the nerve. 

She told me that the risk is that I may lose the sense of my left cheek/ and/or/left lip and/or left gums. I remembered asking her if it's a forever kind of thing and the answer is: it could be. 

I was not going to take that risk immediately for sure. 

She gave me an option to go for a 3D x-ray at Lam Wah Ee Hospital and I went to have that done the very next day. Within 45-minutes, I walked out of the hospital with the CD in my hand - spent RM200 there.

That evening, I went back to the dental clinic and she examined the x-ray and confirmed the worse. Okay, not the worse la. But basically not a piece of very good news - at least not that one I hoped to hear anyways. 

The image is on the CD and I don't have a CD reader at home so got to do without. 

Basically, what the 3D x-ray shows are that both wisdom tooth is protruding the nerve and because of this, the risk of having a numb cheek/lip/gum is a lot higher - anything can happen during the extraction and there is no guarantee. 

So the dentist gave me another option - Coronectomy. 

It is a procedure to remove the top of the wisdom tooth and leaving the roots untouched so we can leave the nerve alone hah. 

I thought about it for like 10-seconds and went ahead with the procedure - the next day I think ( I cannot remember). 

When it was time to sit on that scary chair, I was praying so hard I won't feel anything - not even from the injections. I saw the needle and I closed my eyes and obviously, it was painful! The anesthetic jab was painful, full stop. It was not like an ant bite.

The entire process took about one and half hours. 

It was long because she had to remove my left topmost inner tooth too - if not, I will be biting onto my gum below since the crown of the wisdom tooth is gone. If you see the x-ray image below, the top tooth was not extracted yet. She just wanted to show me that my wisdom tooth still has its root inside, and prayerfully please don't kena infections all. Hah. 

So yeah. I closed my eyes most of the time and imagined I was lying on the beach at Gili Trawangan. It worked for a while until I started feeling intense pain midway and she injected me with more anesthetic and smooth sailing again. 

Total damage spent on fixing this pain-in-my-bum bum was RM1,000. Well, I sort of already knew that it was going to cost a bomb because everyone say so - but still, worth getting rid of that toothache. 

Okay, so the conclusion is I did not get my wisdom tooth removed - not really anyways. Only half is gone. 

Now I'm hoping the right side doesn't start pattern all - because that means I would need to go through another round of Coronectomy. Though it was a smooth experience, I don't think I want to go through it again. 

Something like going for a roller-coaster ride. Yes, I no longer enjoy going on a roller-coaster. No thanks to bad motion sickness after that. Come to think about it, I don't enjoy going on any rides that move. Hah. 

I rather walk around and shop in places like Universal Studios or Disneylands - oh and eat snacks. My definition of enjoys life heh. 

Alright, so for those of you who need to go through this wisdom tooth thing in the future, all the best, and don't be scared because your fear cannot magically take away your toothache wan. You just got to go through it like a champ and come out a warrior. Hah. 

Till next time, bye now. 

Where is B. Mojo?

Time flies is such an understatement, please. 

Can you believe that I am done with week two of my training at work, and I've only been to the office once. I miss my table if you did not already know that. I love the view, and honestly, it is as though the entire office's interior is taken from my Pinterest board or something. 

I intend to snap photos and just get someone to come renovate my house like that. Hah. 

Work has been fun and stressful (when either one of the kids decides to stick with me). Dahlah I am already struggling to get used to using 2-screens (which I now must have) and trying to compose emails and all - but somewhat something inside me secretly loving it - loving the attention. Like they still very much need me. 

Siau liau this mother. 

I want them to be independent, yet not so much. CAN NEVER WIN. 

I've got a few recipes that I have wanted to share here, but my blogging mojo seems to be taking leave so we will wait for it to come home first. Heh. 

For now, I am just going to work on work (heh), and my next project is actually getting the photos (that I have received from Photobook) and frame them up on the dining room wall. 

Do you know that you can go to the official website of Photobook through Shop.com and earn Shop Points just like that? 

GO FOR IT. 

Till next time, bye now. 

One Vaccine Down!

Why was I feeling so on edge while waiting for the vaccination?

To think back - it is so silly goodness. 

I am not particularly afraid of needles and injections, and hopefully, it wasn't about the crowd too, because I love being with people. 

It could be because it felt like finally there is a glimpse of hope - that all this will one day go away and now all we need to do is take that one step at a time, and get vaccinated, and stay home and stay safe. 

I cannot wait, till the day we can safely be with our families and friends, and no need to be so afraid. 

Till then, stay safe. 

Why am I So Nervous About the Vaccine?

My vaccination appointment is tomorrow - and I am feeling so nervous - like going for an interview nervous. No idea why I felt that I need to do some kind of preparation before taking the shot. Hah. 

Adrian thought it was funny for me to be this nervous. 

I asked him to bring me there because I scared. 

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?

Not super excited about the common side-effects though. I hate having a fever because I usually cannot do anything or get out of bed. Prayerfully, the side effects will be a total zero for me!

Be confident, Sarah. 

Really as though going for interviews. Apani. 

Excited For My What's Next!

Based on what was written in my previous post, you should have figured that I have indeed decided to apply for a job and will be saying goodbye to being a full-time stay-at-home mom (soon) to my two precious kids. It was not an easy decision, but an inevitable one - as according to my husband. 

It is not only physically demanding but also mentally challenging - to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. There is a constant need to make sure I don't get sucked into the everyday-lazing-around-with the kids, which is so tempting, even after completing the house chores and whatnots. 

On good days, I kept my day filled with re-organizing cupboards after cupboards and adding home decor items on my Shopee account. My bank account is going to hit zero soon if I continue to 'home-decor' every day. Heh. 

On bad days, I just laze around with Alex and Sofia on the couch and snack, non-stop. Oh, the life right? By the second half of the noon, I would get agitated easily and I know why - because I have been not productive at all - in a way. 

On most days, I am not able to do anything I actually want when the kids are awake, because all they want to do is for you to sit with them to watch Cocomelon together. Sofia only wants to sit quietly (without food) when you sit with her. So, yes. A very clingy day-to-day JD. 

So, to all full-time stay-at-home moms, I salute you. It is difficult and it gets impossible sometimes, and we wonder how we manage to survive through it all - the everyday-repetitive-demanding-life. But hey, we did give birth to a human - out of our body. So, we are already champions - whether our partners recognize it or not - or I mean whether they show their appreciation in the ways we want to or not. Hah. 

If you are a full-time stay-at-home mom, you guys are rocking it and making such a big difference in your children's life. If you are a working mom, get rid of that guilt and know that you are also rocking it. It is a good decision and what you do is what is best for your family. So, say bye-bye to that mom-guilt. 

I was so happy when HR called me and finally saying "Congratulations Sarah! We'd love to have you join the team!". I was smiling from ear to ear. It was a Friday and it sets the weekend right. I remembered calling Adrian straight away and was just jumping up and down!

I have the whole month of July to spend time with the kids before starting work officially in August. 

I do have to admit that there is a pinch of sadness and reluctance when I think about starting work in August - just based on the fact that I no longer will be around Alex & Sofia 24/7. I have gotten used to seeing their face every minute, so I don't really know how I am going to cope with that change - but I will do okay I feel - because Vanessa is going to send me their videos and updates every hour. Heh.

And now, I got more budget for home-decor things - starting August. Hah. 

So, here's to spending July smartly (is there such word? Hah) and wisely with my kids and family. I am super excited and nervous for August to come. More excited I reckon. I even bought a new notebook, a new handbag (hah) and stick-ons for all my learnings starting in August. I still need to buy my stationaries. 

Gotta need new stationaries for new beginnings, right? Heh. 

Till next update, bye now. Stay safe everyone. 

I Updated My Resume, Now What?

Our kids sleep at 8PM because there is nothing much to do at home and we (Adrian and I) need to squeeze in time for each other, right after they sleep. 

Oftentimes, we find ourselves not being able to because he has to continue working, and I usually fall asleep with the kids. So, we hardly talk sometimes. So sad I know. 

But we now have a new thing where we started spending time with each other on the bed when both kids are drinking their milk and slowly going into dreamworld. We would be lying down with them in the darkroom, and start talking and sharing our day and stuff. 

Last night was one of the nights where our conversation was somehow steered to a serious-life-changing-kind where we discussed things like future plans and whatnots. 

The kind of conversation where it makes you think hard and talk hard with each other. 

The realization is that as much as I enjoyed staying home spending 24/7 with my children, I cannot deny that I miss a part of me that only exists when I am at work (whether in the office or working remotely). 

It felt like I was losing something in me - be it some sort of passion or drive or motivation (if you know what I mean) and after sharing that with Adrian, he completely agrees. Something changed in me. Something seems a bit off. Hah. 

So, we re-visit the idea of me going back to work and we continued to wonder if that is the right thing to do, because I really love spending time with Alex and Sofia. I definitely would want to find something that allows me to work from home (flexible to go into the office anytime). 

I do like to work in the office, but I need the flexibility to work elsewhere. 

It was such a great conversation with Adrian that night. I felt relieved and we had gin & tonic after that. Hah. 

The next morning, I updated my resume. 

Till next time. 

How To Make Your Own Jam With Only 3 Ingredients!

 If you were to tell me years ago, that I would be making my own jam in the future, I would have said to you, "You mad bro!"

I have never seen myself so domesticated before it is insane. This is what a full lockdown can do to you, and when people give you loads of berries and your children and husband are not big fans of those berries. 

It started because I didn't want the berries to turn bad - so I decided to make a jam out of it - that way, we can keep it for long. Coincidentally, our store-bought jam also finished liau - so perfect time or what. 

I started googling for easy recipes and many of them have pectin in them, but since I did not know then what pectin is, I googled, "Homemade berries jam without pectin" and the recipe came out and it worked! 

FYI - these berries also have got pectin in them naturally so when you cook them longer, they will get thicker over time and becomes jam after keeping in the fridge. 

So, all you need are your berries (can be just strawberry or mix berries), sugar, and lemon juice. SO EASY RIGHT. Ohh, and with lots of love heh. 

Because it is that easy! 

The first thing to do is you would want to dice your berries. Then, put them in a pot and your fire should be medium - not too big later your berries chau-weh-ta (burnt). 

After you realize that more liquid is coming out of the berries, taste to see if the combination of all the berries turns out to be sweet or sour. If sour, add in some sugar and stir. 

Then, add in a bit of lemon juice. Yes, even if the berries are sour, you still need to add a bit of lemon juice, because the lemon juice will lower the pH of the mixture. 

Then, taste again to make sure it becomes the kind of jam that you would like - not too sweet and not too sour. I always add sugar slowly to make sure it doesn't get too sweet. 

Oh, also remember to mash the berries to the consistency that you would like. If you like your jam to be chunkier, then mash less. 

Let the jam cools down, and transfer to glass bottles to keep. I'm not sure if you can keep in plastic bottles, because why not right? But I just follow what people usually do - so I also keep mine in glass bottles heh. 

The first batch that I did, I kept it in the fridge and almost finished. So I guess time to get more berries to make more jam. 

You can try to make your own jam because the store-bought ones - don't know what other preservatives they put inside. So, I guess you can say that this is a much healthier option for you and your family. 

And it is so satisfying to make it seriously. 

Here's a quick video :)

Till next time, bye now. 

Alex is Three!

"Enjoy every moment because they will grow up so fast and you will miss it"

Someone said this to me when Alex was just born, and at that time, I find it hard to believe and accept that time will pass me by because it was so difficult being a mother for the first time to a colic baby. It was so challenging in every way. 

But now, I say it to new moms. Hah. 

Because they are so true. 

It feels like he turned three after I blinked my eyes ten times - so surreal because I still remember so clearly when he was born, and the struggles of breastfeeding him and him crying all night because of colic. 

Last year, we wanted to bring him to the zoo on his birthday but we were in our first lockdown, so we celebrated at home. This year, we obviously still want to bring him to a zoo, but we are also still in lockdown so we stayed home (where else can we go right?). 

Initially, the plan was to get him a really nice cake, order some of his favorite food and 'try' to allow him to do or eat anything he wants. 

The plan then changed to scheduling a Zoom call with family and friends, ordered a custom made cake that is affordable, some of his favorite foods ordered and paid for by our sisters (Adrian and mine), and I did allow him to almost everything he wanted to do and he ate whatever he wanted. 

I ordered the cake from Jasmine Cake House. I had no idea what kind of cake he wants so I went to Jasmine Cake House's FB and saved cake photos of which I think may interest Alex. Then, I showed him like 10 photos and he came back with this photo. I tried changing and convincing him to other cakes but he kept coming back to this one, so this one wins. 

We paid RM100 for the cake (including delivery to the house) so in my opinion, that is a pretty good price for a custom-made cake. The monster truck and remote control are not edible. 

We set the call to 6PM and we were struggling with the set-up because at first, we used Adrian's Huawei's laptop and realized that the webcam's angle is totally out and people won't be able to see us and the cake. So, we changed to my Mac and realized that I have not gotten the converter because of the need to connect the HDMI and we tried searching for ways to cast screen mirroring but how also need the HDMI cable. 

Then, we took Adrian's old laptop and after setting it up, we realized that the sound system was already kaput and what is a Zoom call if we cannot hear anyone. 

We then screen mirrored my iPhone but realized that we can only see 4 people on the screen. Problem I tell you. I wanted to go inside my room and hide under the blanket already at this point. 

So our only choice is to connect to the TV using Huawei's laptop and got creative in stacking up and arranging the laptop so the webcam can see all of us. Then, the sound would not come off the TV - so it was super soft and we could hardly hear anyone :( 

It was only after the whole sing birthday song thing that I suddenly realized that I needed to change the sound setting in the Zoom app! SHOOT ME NOW PLEASE. 

It was so hard to swallow this one because I always do it for my previous boss so how can I forget this time. Goodness me. 

There were more people who dialed in to be part of the birthday party, but when Eulene took this photo, many have left and I totally did not take any photos, please. And I was too busy trying to stop Sofia from finishing the entire cake heh. Also, apologies to those whom I forgot to send the link to - it was really a packed day for me, and Adrian had to work and all. 

Anyways, when it was time to sing the birthday song, Alex decided to not stand in front of his 'half'-eaten cake (by Sofia haha) and insist to sit on the sofa. 

I found out later that night that he wanted to sit on the sofa because he wanted to see everyone on the TV! I am guessing that he wanted to see everyone's face as we sing the birthday song for him! Oh, my heart. 

Although he didn't show it, I think Alex had a great time with everyone through Zoom - not our ideal way to celebrate but it's still something! I remembered feeling so happy and thankful when I was reflecting on it at night - feeling really blessed. 

THANK YOU ALL FOR LOVING ALEX. 

To my Alex boy, 

Happy Birthday and my constant prayer for you is that you will always find your strength in the Lord and your identity in Him. Never in us or the world. You are such a sensitive boy and that is okay. I know one day, you will be able to have more control over them. Now, you are just as confused as I may be at times. 

But remember that I love you, and you actually don't have to do anything more or less because I already love you so much. You also don't have to be like anyone for us to love you. 

Amazing how in one day, you can make me smile so hard and make me want to explode in frustration. You challenge me in ways I never knew is possible. And for that, I get to grow. I get to see things from another perspective. I get to be less self-centered. I get to be better. 

So, thank you for being my son. 

Thank you for loving me okay. 

Love you forever my little man. 

Till next time, bye now.